Yours to Hold
by Toxic Hathor
Summary: {Repost} - {Seto Kaiba/Yami Yugi} - {Prideshipping} - Seto should have stayed with Yami…he should have. It was entirely his fault. Although they all said it wasn't…he knew the truth.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** thought I'd repost this next…complete and doesn't need major nuclear extermination…err…editing.

**Warnings:** Angst…lots of. Mentions of off-screen violence. Mental disability.

**Yours To Hold**

**Chapter One**

"_Aaaannnnnd_…WAKE UP!"

Seto's eyes snapped open in alarm at the sudden, loud and high-pitched voice that pulled him savagely, cruelly from the sweet clutches of the deep, comforting darkness which his mind confined him to during the sleep he'd fallen into earlier this morning at a little before 03:00 AM. He blinked dazedly, wondering if the world was crashing to an end for Yami, whose voice was the one that turned so screechy and squeaky.

He did not have much more time to wonder about it, because he suddenly heard Yami bursting into a fit of mad giggles and he found his arms full of his boyfriend's tiny, little body which jumped into bed and beside him, underneath the covers and burrowed very close to his. He smiled, as Yami did that awfully weird thing of his. He lifted the hem of Seto's pajama top and he ducked down so he could pass his head under it and, squirming, he wormed his head up, so that it emerged from the top, beside Seto's.

"_Good_…" Yami sang, drawing out the word happily, making Seto close his eyes and grin tiredly, before finishing, "morning, Seto! Wakey wakey!" and he playfully, too quickly to be stopped before it's too late, placed his lips against Seto's ear and gave him a smacking kiss right on it.

"Yami! Don't _do_ that!" he half-screeched when he felt the shudder that ran throughout his whole body at that trick Yami knew very well…and used very dirtily very well, too.

Yami burst into peals of laughter at that and one of his arms slid around Seto's waist and the other rested against his chest. Seto sighed and sleepily leaned his head forward, letting it rest against Yami's warm, sweet-smelling hair as Yami's fingers touched all they can reach of his exposed skin which was easily accessible to him underneath the shirt…with the way he was squeezed in with Seto in it like that.

"Seto is still sleepy," he remarked, the corners of his lips drooping down slightly in sadness.

Seto opened his eyes and took in Yami's genuinely worried expressions, so he raised his hand and gently placed it on the side of his face and tiredly asked, "What time is it?"

Yami grinned happily and said, "Yami doesn't know. But Yami finished watching Fairly Odd Parents." Seto stiffened and was going to bolt upright because that show ended at nine in the morning, but then Yami's hand slid into his hair and he gently held his head in place, facing him and he said with the same, cute smile on his face, "Don't worry…it's a Saturday."

At hearing that, Seto's entire body relaxed and he closed his eyes once more, letting his head rest on Yami's arm that slid underneath his neck to act as some sort of a pillow for him. "I'll wake up…soon," he promised and took a deep breath, taking in Yami's distinct, trademark scent of fresh mandarins, the smell of his favorite shower-gel which he used almost three bottles of every month…not that Seto minded at all.

"Yami is not here to wakey Seto up. Yami is here because Mokuba went out and Yami is missing his favorite Dragon! Yami will shut up now and sleepy beside Seto because Seto slept late yesterday." Yami explained. He too closed his eyes and, with his hand not underneath Seto's head, he rubbed his palm up and down Seto's back and nuzzled into the brunet's warmth while kissing the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

Seto peeked an eye open and mumbled incoherently, his words coming out slightly slurred because he was so comfortable and almost half-asleep still, "I should get you another kitten, don't you think?"

"But Yami already has a kitty…" Yami opened his eyes and blinked seriously, scared. "Piika is not old, please don't send her to the old dog living with that friend of yours who came last month…we will give her away to some other place where they will be nice to her…please…"

Seto smiled and his hand gently rose up to Yami's petal-soft lips, and he placed his index finger on it making him stop his terrified, confused speech. Yami blinked at him with his wide, crimson eyes, so he said while tenderly running his index finger over the very soft, fragile skin of Yami's lower lip, "I meant, get you another kitten, _along with_ Piika. So that you won't feel lonely."

Yami blinked again, slowly. "Another…kitty?" Seto smiled and nodded. Yami blinked once more and narrowed his lovely crimson eyes and Seto felt him counting on his hand, "That means Yami will have…t…two kitties…?"

Seto nodded and kissed him on the nose.

Yami blinked and he smiled widely and hugged Seto tighter around the neck and exclaimed happily, "Yami loves Seto!"

"Yeah and Seto loves Yami."

To any outsider, the scene may have made them laugh. How could it not? Yami stuck inside Seto's pajama top like that, so that both their heads emerged from the neck of the garment and with Yami speaking and acting like a little, three-year-old…the whole situation was hilarious.

Yet to Seto…there wasn't a scrap of hilarity in the whole situation. Sweet of Yami to come to him to say he missed him, yeah. Not funny, though. Saddening to see the struggle on Yami's face while trying to add the number of kitties he would have if Seto got him another one, yeah…very saddening. But never, ever funny. There was nothing funny about the obscene vulnerability of Yami's character now.

After that horrible, horrible thing happened to him…nothing about him was funny anymore. Seto blamed himself nonstop for what happened… How could he not? If he had stayed with Yami that day…if he had brushed off Yami's reassurance that he would be fine if left to go home by himself…if only.

He had been stupid. It was his fault, no matter what Yugi told him and what Joey yelled at him in the back alley of the hospital building after punching him square on the jaw a few days after it happened. No matter what Mokuba tried to say, or what everyone else around him said, he knew it. It was his fault.

Some convicts were out on the loose. Five of them. They escaped from prison and the police warned everyone to take utmost care while moving around the streets and all. Seto knew that…Yami knew it as well. Domino was anything but safe at that time. No one should go out alone. No one should wander around for no reason. The instructions were clear and warnings alarming. Yet…

Yami had work to do in school. He was setting up a play with some small kids and he stayed behind to help them out and show them their parts and play around with them. Seto said he would stay with him. He said he didn't mind staying with him, he wanted to. Yami looked plainly amazing, surrounded by so many small kids and with such a patient, loving attitude, it made Seto smile inwardly. He wanted to stay until he took Yami back to the safe, secure grounds of the heavily-guarded Mansion.

But Yami, always sweet, understanding and amazing, smiled and told him to go ahead and go to work, so that they would have the evening to themselves. He promised to make a nice dinner and he said they would just relax together, watch a movie, eat ice-creams and do fun things later on.

Seto should have stayed with him… Yet, he didn't. He liked the idea, too much. He waited till all the kids looked away and pecked Yami quickly on the lips and muttered a tiny 'I love you' then left. How he wished he did not do that.

Yami's cell phone's battery died…he couldn't call the limo's driver. So he decided that since the Mansion was close by, just a couple of blocks away, he would walk there. Simple…a very short distance and he would get home.

Seto should have stayed with Yami…

No one really knew what happened. Everyone could only make guesses as to what _exactly_ happened. A few hours later, Yami was found in a side alley by the police, which Seto had called when he didn't find Yami at home and threatened with his influence and power that if they do not send out no less than ten parties to search for his missing boyfriend, they would all suffer really, really badly in the future.

Seto was called immediately, and he arrived at the scene Yami was found at to find that the ambulance had already taken Yami to the hospital. Yet before he dashed madly back inside his car to drive like a maniac to where his boyfriend was taken, he saw it. He saw the blood, he saw the torn clothes and saw his worst nightmares in front of him in the form of Yami's life liquid splattered all over the ground like something unworthy, like it wasn't the most precious thing in the whole world.

The doctors said Yami would live. But the state in which he would live in from then onwards was touch and go. Nothing was too certain, especially with the injuries he got…especially with how those injuries told story after terrifying and bone-chilling story of what Yami had gone through in those few hours.

In the two days that followed, in which Yami just lay like a still, fragile and broken porcelain doll in the ICU room, Seto often found himself in the five minutes of the whole day Yami was allowed any visitors (and which the others were amazing enough to let Seto have), rushing out of the room for the nearest restroom to just throw up the nonexistent contents of his stomach. He was so guilty…he was dying. Dying in the most cruel and unholy way every single time he saw Yami's chest fluttering unevenly up and down, struggling to draw in breath.

And to increase the cruelty and horror of what he was already feeling, Yami woke up. Again, seemingly, it may have been a good thing. But in actuality…with the state, in which Yami woke up…Seto did not know if he preferred whether Yami had woken up or stayed asleep.

He woke up with the mind of that of a child…and not just that. The mind of a retarded or mentally-challenged child to that.

He woke up and remembered Yugi, and remembered Joey, Téa, Tristan and Mokuba. He even remembered Ryou when the boy spent enough time around him.

He remembered Seto. Remembered he loved him, even more than the others (part of why the doctors were amazed) and he remembered that he meant the world to him. He totally depended on Seto for the month that he spent recuperating in the hospital. Seto would often break down to tears when he was alone with Yami in the hospital room. And Yami would freeze and hold Seto and ask him childishly, "Why is Seto sad? Is Seto's tummy hurting like Yami's tummy is hurting?" and kill him a bit more on the inside…

That was…a year and a half ago. Yami had completely recovered from his physical injuries. He moved out of the Game Shop with Seto's insistence. Seto was now completely in charge of him and his every need and truth to be said, he was doing such a good job of it, no one dared question the rightness of having such a special-case like Yami under custody of another teenager like that.

Sometimes, some part of the old Yami would emerge. Sometimes, when Seto got too busy, he would drop the way with which he spoke in third person and he would stomp into the brunet's office and glare heatedly and snap, "I would appreciate if you show me you loved me a bit more than you loved your keyboard, Dragon."

At first, he was determined never ever to touch Yami in a sexual way ever again. Not when he was in this state. Never! Yet, that was a bit difficult, especially when Yami would push him onto the bed and start acting and speaking in a completely different way to what he spoke a few moments before they entered the bedroom. Soon, his will started to crumple. He was human. A strong-willed human. But a human.

It was impossible. His boyfriend, the one he'd already made love to countless times before, was right in front of him, with him, but not completely. Out of reach, Yami was. The thought of undressing him like before, of touching him in any sensual, sexual way like before…the thought of having that lithe, slender, familiar body beneath him, of touching the smooth, soft yet firm skin and feel the perfect muscles ripple under his fingers. To hear that familiar, husky, loving voice beside his ear, whispering his name and to feel Yami's fingers dancing gracefully, passionately on his own skin, setting where it touched on fire.

Seto's mind often bordered on insanity at those thoughts.

But no…

Not when Yami was like that. Even if Seto had to spend an eternity burning up with longing for those things to happen. The idea made him feel sick, like some sort of a pedophile. It didn't matter that Yami's body was physically seventeen just like his. It didn't matter if Yami loved him and knew that Seto was more special than any of the other people he could still remember. What mattered was that Yami was not the same in the head.

But, even though he was willing to suffer so much with his longing, Seto couldn't hold out any longer against how Yami would change completely the moment he would put him in the bed of one of the extra rooms of the Mansion which Seto had given to him since Yami moved in. He couldn't resist how, every single time Yami sensed he was about to leave, he would grab his clothes and cling to them. And when Seto would sit on the edge of the bed beside him, Yami would climb on top of him and his now wide, innocent and sometimes clueless crimson eyes would become half-lidded and nearly-black with the expression of desire and lust that Seto had seen too many times before.

At first, Seto would patiently, sweetly, cajole Yami with words and innocent, platonic touches to stop acting in this nerve-shattering way and urge him to go to sleep after simply placing a kiss on his cheek and wishing him a very goodnight and sweet dreams. But, a month or two later, that technique started failing miserably, horribly. Yami would break down to tears with his slender fingers digging into Seto's clothes and he would whisper over and over again, "You hate me…why do you hate me, Seto? I am sorry…I didn't want them to do that to me."

Seto was horrified, the words slashed at him painfully. It happened so many times, but Seto couldn't do it, he couldn't bring himself to touch Yami like he did before. When Yami got like that, he would hug him and say, "Yami, I love you. I don't care what they did, I will always love you…" but it never worked. Nothing penetrated the darkness that was wrapped tightly around his logic. Seto would later weep because he knew what, behind that façade of cute-childishness, Yami was thinking. He knew where his real Yami was. He was drowning in the horror he had gone through that evening. He was drowning in it and even Seto couldn't reach him there.

Eventually, on one fine day, after dinner and much fights about Yami not wanting to stop eating cookies and Seto ending up with a headache because of how much he asked Yami to stop eating them, when Seto took Yami to his room and for the millionth time got dragged inside it, it became too much. Too much to bear, too much to handle and deal with. Yami had once again tried to kiss him on the lips and at the same moment, his small hand slid under the hem of the t-shirt Seto was wearing to touch his skin and set it on fire, just like Seto remembered it always did…

And again he'd resisted. And again, Yami pulled away and stopped touching him. And once again, he started crying and saying all those things that eventually, made Seto slowly wrap his arm around him and bury his head in his shoulder and start crying as well.

Yami ended up stopping crying soon and it was Seto left clinging to him desperately, crying fervently, the sound of his sobs prominent and heart-wrenching. Seto didn't even know what was going on, but he knew that all of a sudden, their roles were switched and Yami was trying to soothe his tears away. He didn't even know how long it took for him to stop sniveling and draw away from Yami.

"I'm sorry," he'd said quietly, feeling more wretched than ever. He did not have the right to be so weak. It was his fault. "I just really…really…" he trailed off, feeling his tears starting to form once more, and he titled his head away and whispered, "miss you…I miss you…"

Yami at that moment placed his hand on his cheek and made him look at him. Behind the blurriness of his tears, Seto saw a familiar face looking at him. He saw Yami looking at him in concern, helplessness, sadness…

And he heard him speak as well. Not in broken, third-person speech. But in the familiar deep, baritone tones, which Seto knew very well. "I miss you too, Seto, but you don't want to even touch me. I don't think I can live anymore like this. If you don't stop treating me like I don't exist then I will kill myself."

"Oh God…don't say such things," he'd desperately pleaded, holding onto Yami's hands as though fearing that any moment, he would sink back into that childish state he had been in for months now.

"Then don't act as though you and I were never together and don't treat me like a child!" Yami snapped at him, looking angry and his eyes flashing dangerously.

Seto was speechless. He didn't know what to do after what Yami just said. Was he really treating Yami like a child?

Well…the answer had been yes.

And as he stayed still, horrorstruck and disbelieving at how much he'd screwed up when it concerned Yami yet once again, Yami tentatively crouched nearer to him on the bed and once more put his hand on his cheek. Seto's eyes, guilty, hurt, and confused beyond reason, looked into Yami's crimson ones and he barely had time to blink when Yami once more kissed him on the lips, softly, shyly…fearfully.

And that was when all resolve shattered. The next morning, Yami woke up to find him sitting beside him in bed, his back leaned against the headboard, a faraway look in his blue eyes that continuously spilled rivers of tears that smudged his face and gave him an extremely pale look. Yami had sat up straight in bed beside him, hugged him and ran his hands over the smooth, exposed, creamy-white skin and urged him to put his head on his shoulder and told him that "Yami is very happy this morning…"

After a while, Seto understood that Yami needed that intimate, physical action. He needed it to make sure that Seto was not disgusted of, or hated, him. And after a while, he started doing it with more naturalness, almost as much as he used to do it before Yami…changed.

He still loved Yami, changes and all. He may hate the way he changed, the way he was so childish and the way he couldn't even put together the simplest of things when, just a year ago, he was the smartest kid his age in Domino. He hated the sudden, unpredictable mood swings and the heart-stopping scares he got when Yami would just start crying all of a sudden, pressing himself into one corner and refusing to respond to anything at all. He hated that he usually sat with his back pressed against the wall Yami was crouching into, and hated how he could only stare in brokenness at his boyfriend's small body, without being able to do a single thing about it.

But he loved Yami.

And right now, retarded or not, a childish mind or not…Yami was and always would be the most important thing in his life.

* * *

A/N: I still can't believe I am reposting things -_- I am doing this without my consent, just so everyone knows.

Thanks for reading. And yes, expect updates for this story every Saturday at 11:00PM Egypt Local Timing.

Hathor…


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **a bit earlier than intended...I will go to bed early...so here you go, a few hours earlier than usual.

**Yours To Hold**

**Chapter Two**

"Why must all these people come here?" Yami grumbled to Seto in dismay, with one hand feeding Piika, his kitten, and the other hand gently and lazily stroking Seto's hair as he lay in bed with him at night.

"It's not like I want to have so many people in the Mansion, Yami, but the headquarters of KaibaCorp cannot be used because it is under maintenance. We have to have the party somewhere." Seto tried to reason, his hand rising to catch Yami's that was in his hair and he gently kissed the top of it.

"Yami doesn't understand what Seto is saying." Yami decidedly said, shrugging his shoulders and let Piika lick his fingers to eat the last crumbs of the cat food he had been offering her.

Seto sighed and said, "It's okay, then. Never mind."

"Don't tell me never mind. I want to understand what you are trying to tell me." Yami, annoyed, crossed his arms and ignored the meow his kitten shot at him when he removed his fingers which she was licking. It never failed to amaze Seto. Annoy Yami enough and you get yourself the normal, mature Yami of before.

Seto sat up straight and he stared down at Yami and wrapped his arm around his shoulders while his other hand lifted Yami's eyes to him by tilting his chin up. He smiled and placed a small kiss on Yami's lips and drew away to say, "Okay what I mean is that at KaibaCorp, the place where we have all those parties and all, that place we closed it down, because we are fixing some things in it. Do you think it would be nice if we have guests in that place and have some people trying to fix some light bulbs over the guests' heads?" Yami blinked and shook his head 'no'. Seto smiled and drew him closer to his chest and mumbled, "That is why I don't have a choice but to have that party here."

Yami nodded against his chest and said, "'kay."

"Do you want to go stay with Yugi until the party is over next Friday?" Seto suggested.

Yami looked up with fear and asked, "Do you…want me to…go away?" his tone was careful, horrified and careful.

Seto blinked, "No! No, no, nothing like that." Did his words give the impression that he wanted Yami to go away? Crap. "No, Yami. If it was in my hands, I would make you stay beside me all the time."

Yami placed his head on his chest once again and quietly said, "Then let me stay beside you all the time."

"I wish I could, Yami… but sometimes stupid life gets in the way," Seto whispered beside his ear, his hand stroking his boyfriend's hair lovingly. Yami, thankfully, did not question him or suggest anything more than that. They stayed in total silence for a while, the only sound in the room being that of the meows of Piika, who was squirming in Yami's lap and Seto wondered if she wanted to play with him or if she wanted more food, but he did not ask and was content watching Yami interact with the tiny animal in a spontaneous, childlike innocence.

Finally, Yami broke the silence after a little while, "Yugi is coming to visit tomorrow."

Seto nodded, "Yeah, I know." Yugi had called Seto before he told Yami he would be visiting. It was always like that. Yugi called him first to make sure that he would be able to have him and the gang over, before telling Yami, so that if, for any reason, Seto could not have them over, Yami would not have gotten his hopes up because Yugi told him they were coming.

Things were really fragile around Yami. Everything and anything at all could send Yami into a frenzied, panicked state. They had to make sure that they (meaning Seto and Yugi and the others as well) worked together like a well-oiled machine in order to avoid nasty incidences that they had encountered too many a time and knew from experience that they were unwelcome.

So, they made sure that before they did anything concerning Yami, they would call and inform one another what exactly they would be doing. If Yugi promised Yami he would come and then had to say that he wouldn't visit because Seto's schedule did not allow for it, then Yami's reaction would be unpredictable. They had experienced that reaction once before and not any of them would like to experience it ever again. So, better safe than sorry; they made sure that everyone was well-informed about the others' moves.

"Sleep now, Yami…" Seto finally said, pulling himself out of his thoughts and stroking Yami's cheek gently, while reaching for Piika to take her off Yami's lap and gently set her on the floor beside the bed while murmuring to her, "Off you go, Piika. We wanna sleep now."

Yami slid down so he could lay his head on the pillow and waited till Seto turned to him once again and he bunched his hands in the brunet's sweatshirt which he was wearing and buried his face in it, inhaling Seto's scent in happiness and content. Seto stared at him for a little while then he too slid downwards a little so that his head lay on the pillow as well. Very lightly, he nudged away the blonde bangs of Yami's hair while his lips brushed a tiny caress-like kiss on his forehead. "Sweet dreams…" he whispered, hoping that tonight, Yami would sleep the entire night without the hideous interruption of nightmares.

* * *

Mai Valentine was an exceptional young woman.

And the exceptionality about Mai was not that she was one of the most beautiful and stunning young women her age. It wasn't also because she was one of top duelists in the whole world. It wasn't also because she had the coolest kickass attitude for someone like her. Nah, it wasn't any of those minor, insignificant things.

It was because of the fact that she knew…she was _positive _that she was exceptional. And this certainty was reflected in the way she held her head up high and dealt with people around her. She was a strong and proud woman and not just a sappy dreamer with idealistic and romantic thoughts occupying most of her existence. The latter was a major source of pride for her. She loved being so in-control of herself and her life. She enjoyed it completely. Independence, strength, control…

The first ever time she had experienced a feeling that was the complete opposite of pride and strength was the day Panik defeated her with his imposing, terrifying darkness. She felt, for once, weak and helpless.

And then…Yami came into the picture.

And she found herself eternally grateful to him, because, even though he didn't have to, he stepped in to stand against Panik and put him in his place. He was not obliged to help, yet he did and he got her back on her feet again, and made her feel strong once more. And not only that, he made her realize that maybe…maybe, every once in a while she did need someone beside her, someone to help her sometime when she couldn't help herself. At that time, she had briefly considered that person to be Yami himself. Maybe they could start something together and see where it takes them?

But then she quickly discarded the idea and preferred to regard him as a very good friend or a dear sibling. She was not stupid. Yami already had a very beautiful girl beside him. Téa was not any less than her in looks and attitude and to be honest she was better at stuff that Mai couldn't dream of doing. There must be a very good reason Yami and Téa did not click together.

And as if to prove her correct, she heard a year or two later that after Yami became separate from Yugi, he and, of all the people in the world, Seto Kaiba started dating. That didn't surprise her at all. She somehow knew that those two were simply being silly, dodging each other in such a lame, stupid way. Although Kaiba was, in her opinion, always was and always will be too bitchy for Yami…regardless of how unfitting the description 'bitchy' was. She didn't know where Yami got the patience to date someone like that, but, it surprised her that she wasn't at all shocked by the news she heard that the two rivals were making each other happier than anything ever did.

But what shook her to the core…what traumatized her, literally and metaphorically, was Joey's phone call. The phone call when he told her that Yami had had an accident about seven months ago and explained what exactly took place and what Yami's current condition was.

It had been such a long time since she last cried. As in, really cried her eyes out, not just with her eyes becoming wet and a slight depression. When Joey told her that and when she laughed and asked him to stop fooling around, thinking that Joey was pulling her leg just like he did with the time he said that Serenity relapsed once again and needed another operation, she thought that he wasn't serious.

But to her amazement at first, then her horror, he stayed silent while she reminded him of that particular incident. When she finished and he was still silent on the other side, she had frowned, straightened in her seat in the coffee shop in the city she was currently staying in, and she asked, "Joey, speak up dammit, this is not funny. I swear if you're playing me again I'll…"

She stopped, because he said, "No…" The tone he used. The totally uncharacteristic brokenness, misery and complete melancholy in Joey's usually-happy and bright voice made a huge lump form in her throat. "Mai, I am not…kidding this time." His words were slow, solemn.

"What happened? Is Kaiba alright? Is Yami alright!" she had asked, dreading the answer for those questions she so very hated herself for asking.

"No to both." He answered her quietly. And then he started explaining. And by the time he was done, she could hear the waver in his voice that indicated his tears that mirrored her own. She didn't even realize that she had torrents of tears sliding down her face as she numbly stared ahead while listening, until a passerby stopped, stared at her and asked in concern, "Are you okay, Miss?"

She hadn't had the chance to go to Japan until…almost a year later. She was so guilty about that, because, if it had been in her hands, she would have booked a ticket and flew to Japan the very next day she knew about what happened from Joey. But, life got in the way and she found that, although she thought daily about the formerly-happy and currently-wretched couple back in Domino, she could not get her hands on some free time for them.

But she eventually found the essential time and she was currently standing with the group of her friends that she missed so much. She wasn't too taken aback by seeing Téa and Yugi holding hands. Yugi seemed a bit taller and that soft roundness of his eyes disappeared and he looked more mature, hardened by a big amount of sadness in a very short while.

Tristan and Téa looked solemn and quiet as well, but the one who really amazed Mai was Joey.

He was mostly quiet and he no longer acted like a dork like he usually did. Calm, prudent and oh my god, did he decline the offer that they go to Burger World before they go to the Kaiba Mansion to visit Yami?

She was impressed. Finally, Joey managed to impress her and it was obvious that he was not even trying to do it at all anymore. She didn't even bother to glare at him when he took her hand hesitantly as the group walked towards the Kaiba Mansion. She wanted him to do that.

She was dreading the moment she confronted Yami…or whatever was left of him, according to the others' description. But, oddly enough, she found a deep sense of comfort in feeling Joey's slightly-calloused hand wrapped gently yet securely around hers. She kept stealing glances at him and only now realized how much taller he really was than her, because she had taken off her high-heeled boots and traded them for a pair of azure ballerina shoes that matched the simple pair of jeans she wore and the gray polo shirt she had on. She smiled and put her eyes on the road ahead, knowing that she now had someone to target and trap in her nets.

She put that at the back of her mind and took a deep breath as they stood in front of the huge, magnificent-looking palace that was not given its worth when they called it the Kaiba Mansion. Yugi rung the bell and stepped back and told her in low tones, "Mai, if Yami reacts badly to seeing you, please try not to get offended or anything…he really doesn't mean it."

Mai stared at him and said, "Are you saying I won't be able to handle it well or something?" and she laughed trying to ease her tension as well as put the others at ease, even if slightly. God, it was so bizarre to have them not laughing every single second she spent with them in this free time they had.

Yet, they only smiled in response to that and Téa blinked slowly and pressed, "Please Mai. Just be careful, okay?"

Mai felt more anxious than ever and she felt like crying once more, but her pride did not allow her to do so. Also, her super-intelligent brain also told her that that would not leave a very good impression with Yami.

Finally the door opened and Mokuba appeared from behind it. "Hey guys," he said with a voice that he tried to make cheerful. They all said hi and everything and he turned to Mai and his smile got a bit more genuine, "Hey! Long time, Mai."

She smiled back at him and said, "Hey you've grown up, Mokuba." And it was true. He had put on height, and he stood almost the same height as Joey, only shorter by an inch or something. It was clear that he was going to end up as tall as his brother very soon.

"Yeah, so I've heard." Mokuba said, moving aside to let them in.

"What's wrong?" Yugi asked in worry, noticing, like the others, Mokuba's somber expression.

Mokuba sighed and closed the door behind them and muttered, "Yami's really upset and I am not doing too good of a job calming him down and Seto's in his office right now handling something very important."

"What happened?" Téa asked in worry, and Mai watched all of this and listened in silence.

Mokuba sighed and explained in quick, low tones, "He saw some bird on top of the Sakura tree in the garden and the bird is disabled somehow. He tried to help it, but…he couldn't reach the top of the tree. And Seto is, as I said, preoccupied now…" he brushed away a stray bang of his jet-black hair which he'd tied into a ponytail and Mai noticed the extremely pained look in his gray eyes.

Everything he was saying sounded so unreal to her…was it really Yami they were talking about?

Yugi was frowning and he walked a little ahead of them and he went inside the living room before them. Mai hesitated for a bit and, as Joey once more grabbed her hand to give it a tiny, reassuring squeeze, she heard Yugi's voice coming from the living room, saying, "Hey Yami…what's wrong?"

As Mai walked closer to the living room, she heard someone murmur something from inside. She couldn't hear it, but she knew it was Yami. And she knew that something was gruesomely wrong with the way he was now speaking to Yugi, low tones and all.

She walked into the room and she stood silent and started observing for the first real time, what was left of her good friend who helped her when she lost her usually-strong footing.

At first, on first impression, Yami seemed just normal, only crying and terribly upset. He looked quite the same, only his hair was different, no longer shooting all around his head in that unbelievably amusing and defiant mess of spikes, but lying comfortably in cute, smooth tresses all around his head. His attire was also different, because he was not dressed in all the leather that made him look like a model out of a bondage-themed show, but he had a pair black denim pants and a dark reddish-brown button-up shirt. He was speaking to Yugi in a low voice, which none of them, other than Yugi, heard.

But then, after the initial look, and with deeper observation, she could make out the shocking, unbelievable differences between Yami and this boy who now sat on the couch before her.

The very first thing she noticed was different was that there was a light-pink, yet distinct, scar running down from the middle of Yami's neck down to disappear underneath the shirt. There was a similar one on his temple. Next thing she noticed was the way he stumbled over his words…the way he spoke the words. He sounded like a small, three-year-old kid.

She stood there, horrified and she strained her ears to hear what he was saying.

"Yami promised the bird…Yami promised he would get her help, but…" a sob, a small shush from Yugi and a guilty grimace from Mokuba. "But Seto is busy and Yami doesn't wanna disturb Seto…but…" another small hiccup and Yugi wrapped his arms comfortingly around him while he whimpered out, "Yami promised her…"

Mai swallowed and blinked furiously, trying not to let the tears that formed in her eyes go. She will not cry!

"Why don't you show me where you saw the bird? Maybe Joey, Mokuba, Tristan and I will be able to help it?" Yugi suggested, staring at Mokuba in askance, as to why he did not suggest that he went and somehow got the bird down or whatever.

"No! Yami wants Seto only!" Yami half-hysterically snapped, flinching away from Yugi.

"Okay, okay…" Yugi hastily said, once more trying to take Yami in his arms once again. Yami let him, but the same, angered expression remained on his tear-streaked face.

Mai blinked unconsciously and she cursed slightly under her breath when she felt a hot wetness sliding down her cheek. She turned away quickly and got rid of the traitorous tear that defied her by brushing it away with the back of her hand. She blinked several times to get rid of any excess tears left and she tried to steel her heart a bit more.

She turned once more just in time to see Seto walking into the room while switching off his phone and pocketing it. She watched as he froze on the spot when he saw Yami's condition, before he frowned and asked, very upset seemingly, "What's wrong?" and approached Yami and Yugi.

Yugi gently moved away and gave his place up to Seto so he could sit beside Yami, who immediately wrapped both his arms around Seto's neck and he said, "Seto, there is this bird outside. Yami promised bird to get help. But Seto was busy and Yami is very sad because…"

Mai watched intently as Seto patiently, and to her extreme shock, gently listened, then calmed Yami down and took his hand so they would go outside. She gaped at the other in disbelief, wondering how they could so very easily start chatting and acting so normal after what just happened. Seto and Yami reentered the living room after ten minutes and Seto was holding his hands cupped in front of him, carrying a small, squeaking sparrow in them. Yami was hovering worriedly beside him and saying, "Is it going to die, Seto? Seto, is it going to die?"

"No, it's not going to die. We just need to do something about its wing and give it some food." Seto answered, sitting down on the couch and he placed the small bird inside a small bowl that was on the coffee table after putting some tissue papers inside it. "Poor thing, it must be in pain."

Yami sat down on the floor and watched the small bird squeak with fright. "Can we call Dr. Muraki for it? Dr. Muraki knows how to stop it."

"No, Yami, Dr. Muraki is your doctor and he doesn't treat birds." Seto said with a little smile.

Yami frowned and demanded, "Then Seto should call a Dr. Muraki like Yami's for the bird right now!"

Seto opened his mouth to say something when Mai spoke for the first time. "No need for that." And she got up to walk towards the coffee table. Yami blinked and shrunk a little bit closer towards Seto, away from her. She grinned warmly and said, a little bit late, "Hi."

He shrunk a bit more towards Seto and said in a low tone, "H…Hi."

"Lemme guess… its wing looks outta shape and the poor thing cannot fly and it goes crazy whenever you touch it?" she asked, approaching the frightened bird. She was aware that everyone was watching her in silence, holding their breath for what will happen next. She looked at Yami, awaiting his answer, which came as a hesitant nod. "Okay, I'll see what I can do for it. I found a bird once in the same condition and I treated it…"

"Yami doesn't understand what you mean."

She froze and her head snapped up towards Yami when she heard him say that in a flat tone. Immediately, Seto tried to jump in to help, "She means that…"

"Yami, I mean that once, when I was a little girl," Mai interrupted, making sure to shoot Seto a silent glance that told him to let her do the explanation, and resumed when Yami's attention turned to her when Seto stopped speaking, "I found a bird like this one under the tree next to my window. Its wing, it looked like this bird's wing looks. I took it to my room and I fixed it."

Understanding lit up Yami's face and was followed immediately by hope. He opened his mouth to say something but paused and his eyebrows came closer in intense concentration and he carefully asked, "You're…M…Mai?"

Mai smiled widely and she said, "You got it, hun…" she was heartbroken, thinking he couldn't remember her, but obviously…he still did.

His hope doubled and he asked, "Will Mai help bird?"

She nodded and approached the bowl carrying the small bird and observed it carefully and then said, "Okay, I just need a few matchsticks and some bandages…"

"I'll get them," Mokuba said, getting up and Mai did not miss the look of relief that spread over everyone's faces.

She also noticed that Seto's eyes had, along with the relief in everyone else's eyes, an endlessly pained, troubled and tired expression as well. She swallowed and stole glances every little while at the brunet who now looked more human to her than he ever looked before. It suddenly clicked in her mind that Yami was not the most-affected victim of that assault. She wondered if the others noticed. She was sure Mokuba noticed that his brother was taking it badly. But she didn't think anyone really knew what Seto was suffering. She didn't think…dare think she even had any inkling what Seto was going through.

She kept quiet though about it and settled onto directing Yami as to how to help her fix up the flustered little bird who was more terrified at how many hands were handling it than it was in pain. Finally, they finished their task and the result was a little bird with a splinter-supported wing and big, wide, scared eyes.

"There, hun. All fixed up," she said with an accomplished tone, winking playfully at Yami.

To her extreme surprise, Yami started a little before he burst out laughing. "Do that again."

Seto, who had been watching them in silence, smiled a little and when Mai looked up at him in bewilderment, wondering what it was she had done that amused Yami like that. "Winking." He explained.

She smiled and turned once more to Yami and said, "Oh…this?" and she winked. She then started laughing heartily when Yami burst out into amazed peals of laughter.

By the end of the day, she had taught him how to wink…something simple, childish and insignificant. But it amused him endlessly. And by the time they sat at the dinning table to have dinner she was introduced to Piika and she had come to know all of Yami's favorite movies and saw all of his drawings and his plushies. She felt sick, yes, by how childish and…well – there wasn't a better way to put it no matter how hard she tried – retarded Yami seemed. But that didn't mean she was eternally amused by him.

Especially when, as he ate a piece of apple-pie happily, he said, "Joey is right because Joey likes Mai. Mai is very nice."

Mai smirked and shot Joey a look, which he avoided very intently by staring at his plate in huge interest. Everyone else burst out laughing and Seto even gave a wide grin of amusement. Yami did not understand why they were laughing but was distracted from asking when Piika jumped onto his lap and nuzzled his stomach while mewling.

He was never aware that when Joey stood with Mai in front of the place she was staying at after walking her home, he'd nervously put a hand in his hair and asked Mai, "Do you wanna go out somewhere tomorrow? Jus' the two of us?"

And she smiled and said, "That'd be awesome."

* * *

"Are you sure he will be okay?"

Seto took a deep breath and said, "I cannot say such a thing, but he doesn't want to leave. If he is there for the party, he may or may not freak out. But if I send him away even though he wants to stay, he will _surely _freak out."

"I see," he heard Yugi say on the other end of the phone. "Just…if something happens, just call me and tell me, alright?"

"I will." Seto reassured.

"Okay, goodnight. All the best for day after tomorrow."

"Thanks. Goodnight," Seto said and he heard Yugi say goodbye one more time before hanging up.

He lowered the phone and turned to watch Yami, who was sitting in front of the coffee table every now and then scaring the poor little bird who was sleeping, by either talking to it, or touching it. Seto decided to step in and save the little bird and said, "Yami, c'mon we'll go to bed."

Yami turned his bright, crimson eyes onto him and asked, "So early?"

"It is a little after midnight. Not too early if you ask me." Seto said, raising his eyebrows and walking over to him to take his hand and pull him up to his feet. "C'mon, we have to go to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow."

"Why is tomorrow busy?" Yami asked, following Seto upstairs.

"We have to get ready for that party."

"Yami doesn't like parties."

"Yeah, Seto doesn't like parties either," Seto countered, pouting a little. He had a feeling that the coming event will be bringing with it unexpected events.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading.

Imanza… thank you 3

Hathor…


	3. Chapter 3

**Yours To Hold**

**Chapter Three**

"Would you like some more, Master Yami?"

"Yami would like it if the nice man with the ponytail won't call Yami 'master'." Yami amiably informed the waiter who was hired to serve those small, cute appetizers to the guests. And since Yami thought that those were downright adorable, with the cute little pieces of beef arranged artistically along with coriander and mint leaves on top of minute pieces of brown bread and topped by a green olive with a little red filling in it, he and the waiter became good friend really soon, as Yami wrapped both hands around the man's knees as he sat down on the ground and prevented him from leaving his sight at all throughout the entire party, which had been going on for over four hours now.

Not that the waiter minded, since Yami was a lot more pleasant than the other guests who were filling the huge main hall of the Kaiba Mansion. Moreover, Seto Kaiba himself had spoken to them and told them that if Yami asked them for something, they should immediately comply to his requests and leave whatever they had been doing to someone else. So once the strict, scary Mr. Kaiba got to know that he was the one to handle this amusing young man's requests and that he struck up a friendship with him, he would surely be pleased…a bonus may be involved as well.

And so, he laughed and bent down a little with the tray he was holding and offered it to Yami and said, "Alright, Yami…would you like some more?" Yami nodded eagerly, and his hand rose to the tray and he took another one of the tiny appetizers. He stared at it for a little bit, then giggled happily and started eating it.

The waiter smiled and was going to say something, when there was a crash behind them, followed by a stream of curses that would make a street rat blush, coming from a woman who, just minutes ago, was quoted the prettiest and most sophisticated lady in the party this evening.

Yami blinked and, unconsciously, he drew his knees closer to his chest at the anger with which the woman was yelling at another waiter, who obviously tripped, dropped some glasses of champagne at her feet and hence, spilt a few drops on the hem of her elegant dress. He stared up at the waiter, and told him, "Why…don't you go help your friend?"

The man looked down at him uncertainly, then back again at his colleague, then Yami nodded with bright crimson eyes and encouraged, "Go…Yami will stay here with Piika and they will both wait for the nice man with the ponytail to come back."

And he sat back down and wrapped his small hands around his kitten's body and pulled it up into his lap, so he could feed it one of the biscuits which he got from one of the girls who fell in love with him at the start of the evening.

The waiter stared at him for a bit; he was sitting cross-legged in the corner of the hall beside the a sweet-smelling plant, wearing an attractive black tuxedo with a soft, black silk shirt from underneath that was left unbuttoned at the top, and he had a nice, shiny pair of Italian shoes on. His weird, multicolored hair was neatly pulled back from his face by a plastic hair band placed around the top of his head, so that his hair flowed all around it and framed his face without making him uncomfortable. He had a flush of happiness and content on his face as he sat there, playing with his pet and feeding it, and the man looked uncertainly at him for a bit, then sighed and said, "I will be back soon, Yami…"

After all, who would want to bother someone who looked so simple in this huge crowd of stuck-up snobs?

And so he went away to try and solve the mess that happened.

But as Yami sat in his own little corner, playing with Piika and speaking softly to it while ignoring this huge, big world around him which he was not used to, three boys, not older than Seto and dressed in the same, formal attire as all males in the hall, approached Yami's corner and stood in front of him.

"Hi!" one of them, with jet black hair and brown eyes and a fair complexion, genially said.

He blinked and looked up at him carefully. He studied the three boys. He shifted his eyes from the one who spoke to him to the one to his right, who had strange grayish hair, and blue eyes, and the one to the left, who also had black hair like the one in the center, but with green eyes and a pair of frameless glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

He looked at them suspiciously and mumbled in a small voice, "Hi…"

He didn't like strangers.

Without noticing, he was retreating nearer to the wall and closer into the corner and Piika was now held closer to his chest. He saw the three exchanging looks and smiles which he did not trust although they seemed warm and honest…but he just did not like it.

"We saw you sitting in the corner by yourself so we thought we'd come by and say hello." The one who spoke at first explained.

Yami frowned and muttered, "You said hello…"

"We said hi…" the one with grey hair told him smartly.

Yami shot him a glare and muttered, "Okay. Irritating, not-funny boy with freaky grey hair should say hello and leave Yami alone…"

Again, they exchanged looks amongst themselves, before the one with black hair who spoke first said, "We're just here to try and give you some company."

"Yami has Piika to give him some company," Yami informed them with a nod and pointedly ignored the three so he could look down at his kitty which demanded his attention by licking his fingertip. He gave her all of his attention for a minute or two, until he noticed that the three boys were still hanging around, so he frowned in irritation and looked up at them and snapped, "Yami is getting very annoyed. Leave now."

"Well Yami, we just wanted to tell you that there is another kitty that looks like this one outside." The boy with black hair and green eyes told him with a nod.

"Seto said I should not be playing around with kitties in the street. He said he will buy me another one…" Yami dismissed their attempts. He did not understand what they could possibly make out from what he told them. His mind was not functioning that far at that moment. He did not like having them around and his mind was no longer equipped with the previous intelligence it had, to tell him that if he tried sending them using that, thinking that this was as far as they could go to lure him outside, they would really go away and stop bothering him.

His mind could no longer decipher the huge lie behind their words, when the one with grey hair said, "Oh you misunderstood me, Yami…I meant that the kitty which Seto promised you…we have it outside."

Yami's head snapped up immediately and he stared at him in uncertainty. "But…Seto did not…tell Yami about…"

"That's because he wanted it to be a surprise of course." The one with green eyes told him knowingly.

Yami turned to him with a lot more confusion in his crimson eyes and he blinked and then turned his head around, searching for Seto's familiar, tall, slim figure and his chestnut brown hair. Before he could find him, the boy with the glasses spoke again in a convincing, reassuring voice, "Don't worry, it's just outside. He told us to come over to you and tell you that it's out there…"

At that moment, Yami found Seto and the brunet turned and their eyes met briefly and Seto gave him a brief smile and a wink. Yami's eyes brightened up and he was going to get up and run over to Seto to ask him if what those three said was true when someone walked up to Seto and drew his attention away. Yami sank back into the wall, crestfallen and very nervously chewed on his lip, as he wondered what he should do now.

He started when the boy with green eyes reached out for his arm and caught it and pulled him up to his feet and said cheerfully, "C'mon now, it's waiting outside…and I think someone brought a dog along with them…maybe it is not such a great idea if we keep it waiting outside. Who knows? We might get out to find it eaten or with a missing tail or …"

"But…Yami will tell Seto that he is going out first…" Yami objected lamely, letting Piika slide down from his arms to land gracefully on the floor.

"Oh Yami, do you really want to disturb Seto like that? He's very busy, isn't he?" and they steered him towards the doors.

Yami's curiosity soon overrode his suspicions and he started moving with the three to the outside of the Mansion. Soon they were in the somewhat tranquil garden, which had only few people here or there. His excited crimson eyes roamed the area searching for the new kitty. Seto really knew how to surprise him, didn't he? He was so excited!

But soon, they were turning around the corner of a wall of rose shrubs, and Yami still couldn't see the kitty. He was starting to get disappointed, and he turned around to face the three boys and he asked, "Where is it?"

The boy with brown eyes walked a little closer to him and said cheerfully, "Why don't we first play a game, then we'll let you know where your kitty is, Yami?"

"No, I don't wanna play games…" Yami said slowly, distractedly, as the words reminded him of something he wished to keep buried inside in the deepest, furthest and darkest corner of his mind. He felt horrified all of a sudden and he just wanted to get the kitten Seto got him and just go back inside. To his and Seto's room, because he had enough of this party too, with its loud noises, huge crowd and mean people.

"But we wanna play a game…" the grey-haired one told him and stepped closer as well. Yami's breath caught in his throat at their closeness, which was an absolute no-no to him. No one got so close to him except very, very, very safe people…like Seto…or Yugi or Mokuba.

"Yami…Yami wants…I want to go back…inside…" he stuttered, feeling his hands shake slightly.

And then, what he had been praying it won't happen, happened.

The boy with green eyes stepped closer as well and placed his hand on his chest and pushed him back, so he hit the bushes behind him. Yami glanced at his back with a frightened, wide-eyed look on his face, then his eyes shot back to his front so he could stare at the three, and he struggled with all his might not to let the horrible memories what was going on now brought up.

"Stay… Stay a… away…" he whimpered, and tried to escape from the side, but the one with grey hair grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back to the wall of plants.

"We'll just show you something nice…you'll like it…" he said and held onto Yami's wrist hard and kept him in place, while leaning closer to him. That was what truly set Yami off. He gasped in terror and moved back hastily, burying himself amongst the leaves and flowers and branches, and tried to extract his hand back. The boy angrily glared and hissed at him, "Stay still, retard, or I'll…"

Yami did not let him finish. He was _not_ a retard!

Angrily, and with all the force he could muster, he pulled his hand which was in the boy's hold, up and he held it near his mouth. And with all his might, he opened his mouth, placed a part of the boy's arm between his teeth…and he closed his teeth around it with all the power he had.

Mentally, as he held on to the boy's arm with desperation born out of terror, he snickered and thanked Mokuba for telling him that milk made his teeth strong and thanked the tasty Cheerios he had every morning because he ate them with milk!

He was satisfied, as he kept his teeth clamped over the young man's arm like that, to hear him screech and howl, and try to pry him off by pushing at his shoulder. Yami was determined. He kept his strong hold and refused to lose this fight. It may have been his fault that he left the Mansion although Seto told him to stay inside, but that did not mean he was going to lose this.

However, he had no choice but to let go, especially when he felt pain shooting through his head, as one of the other boys grabbed his hair and forcefully, cruelly tugged on it. He tried to hold on – and in the process caused the grey haired boy to howl louder in pain – but he had to let go eventually; the pain was terrible…and he could remember the last time someone held him like that…on that day when…when…

By the time his head was tilted up by the hair, so he could stare into an angry pair of green eyes, he could feel tears streaming down his cheeks and a horrible pain in his head, not only because of how he was being held. His breath was coming out in short, random gasps which he could not control and he knew that soon, he would be having one of those scary blackouts where he would come around again to find Seto looking paler than normal and trying to make sure that he was okay…

No! He couldn't have one of those blackouts here. He couldn't give in here…

And with that thought in mind, and with Seto being his next destination, his free hand rose up and, finding the lessons he got from Piika quite handy, he scratched the boy's face with as much force behind his fingers as he could put.

He was grateful when, as he expected, the boy let go of him. He took the chance and dashed into a mad, desperate run back towards the Mansion. He was gasping for breath, as he dodged people and ducked under food trays and not only because he was running, but because he was terrified, of what was about to happen to him just now…again. And because he could hear them running after him. Just like when he went to sleep at night…he could hear them coming back for him.

And that was why the moment he reentered the Mansion and went rushed into the main hall, his frantic eyes searched for Seto and he blinked away terrified tears when he saw him still speaking to the man who had walked up to him earlier, with his back to Yami. Without caring who he hit on his way, he ran over to Seto and he wrapped his arms tightly around Seto's waist from the back and buried his face into it.

He did not care what he was doing or where he was doing it or in front of who. With Seto, they won't get him. He was only aware that he was gasping in panic and alarm and fear, and that he had to hide. He had to run away from them, because they were going to catch him again…

The Mansion's bright lights faded, the noises of the people around dissolved, and Seto's warmth seemed so far, and instead, all he saw was a narrow alleyway, damp, grey walls, a dirty, concrete ground and he felt cold, exposed and heard the sounds of evil sneers and jeers.

His panic increased tenfold and he screamed for help. This was not happening! He madly thought, trying to recall what his doctor told him, what Seto would keep repeating to him. He was no longer there, he was safe, with Seto, no one was going to hurt him…but why was he back in that alley? Why were those…those monsters staring down at him like that again and why was one of them leaning down on him like that? This was real…

He was crying so hard now, but he did not dare make an unnecessary sound. He did not want to have anything shoved down his throat anymore so he bit down hard on his lower lip and kept his mouth shut. He curled up on himself as much as he could and kept crying, since he could not escape and it had to happen anyway, so if it did happen, why should he make things worse for himself by making noise? No, better to keep quiet; they did not mind him crying, just as long as he kept quiet, they wouldn't hurt him…

He waited for the pain to come, he stayed still and waited for the terrible agony he knew was coming to hit him as hard as a tornado, but to his relief, and puzzlement, it did not come. He was still crying with his eyes shut very tightly.

And then…he realized that he was not cold anymore, but he was surrounded by comfortable, reassuring warmth. There was complete silence around him, except for Seto's soft, meaningless whispers of encouragement. He did not feel any alien hands on him, but Seto's gentle fingers running through his hair, soothing the ache that was in his scalp because of what happened a few moments ago, and on his back, rubbing small circles on it.

And then, he realized what he had done. He had completely screwed up this really important party for Seto. And the idea just made him cry harder, and he clung to Seto desperately and he whimpered out, "Seto…don't…don't be mad…don't be mad…don't be mad…" and he kept repeating that over and over again, needing to show how sorry he really was. God…why did he always have to be so stupid!

But before he could convince Seto not to be mad, or so he thought, Seto interrupted him with a soft shush and a hand in his hair and told him, "Please…calm down and stop, please…"

Yami stared at him with tearful eyes, but obeyed Seto's request and went silent, except for tiny sniffles and hiccups and a small, final "I am sorry…" and he buried his face into Seto's chest once more and shrunk into a smaller curled up, ball.

"Yami…calm down…" Seto repeated and, with his hand on his chin, he urged Yami to look up. When he was sure Yami was looking at him, he asked, "What happened?"

"Seto…they…they were gonna…they were gonna do it…again…" he hysterically started, before his voice failed him and he ended up burrowing closer to Seto once more. He could hear the sound of whispers around them and he knew that people were watching. And he knew that Seto now had extra trouble because of him, because of the scene he just made. So, he whimpered slightly and repeated, "I'm sorry…"

* * *

For a month or two, Seto had felt reassured, since Yami did not have one of his breakdowns at all throughout that time. He thought that that stage now passed and that Yami was becoming better and better. Slowly, yes, but since his blind, spontaneous panic attacks that he suddenly had, stopped, Seto thought, hoped…prayed that that meant that Yami was dealing better.

But all these hopes came crashing down at his feet into pointless rubble as he cradled Yami's tense, shuddering body on the ground, and when he tried to calm him down and failed. Eventually, he had to settle onto waiting for it to pass by itself, while trying his best to comfort Yami through it as much as possible. He cursed in his head because he knew that, right now, the cameras present inside the hall were all recording everything going on right now. He just hoped Yami recovered quickly, so that those heartless morons don't get a show longer than this.

And when that attack did pass, Seto just got more confused, because after he asked Yami what happened, he told him something about 'they' who were going to do 'it' again…which almost sent him into a full blown panic attack himself and got him so frustrated when Yami stopped telling him what in the world happened to send him into this state, and started apologizing again.

And just when he was about to repeat his question as to what happened, he heard an angry voice from behind him, "That retard bit me!"

He turned around to see who the hell spoke and who was he talking about. And when he did that, he felt anger rising within him when he realized that the young man who spoke, having grey hair and standing with two other boys his age a few feet away from him and Yami, was pointing at his boyfriend.

He did not care if what this boy said was true and Yami did bite him. He despised the term 'retard' and so, he glared intensely and snapped, "Mind your language while speaking of him or you _will_ regret it."

"That stupid brat almost ate a chunk out of my arm, dammit!" the boy heatedly countered, waving his hand in the most degrading way at Yami.

Seto's frown deepened and he got up, letting go of Yami in the process, and he narrowed his blue eyes in anger and hissed, "Unless you want yourself kicked out, I suggest that you stop insulting him in any way." He felt Yami wrapping his arms around his legs and clinging to him while sobbing softly and he realized that the only reason Yami might have flipped out like that, was these three boys standing in front of him. He kept his placid face on and stated, "Yami wouldn't attack anyone unless he was irritated first."

"We haven't done anything to him. He just bit him so suddenly," one of the other two boys, with black hair and brown eyes stated.

Seto felt Yami shaking his head ever-so-slightly against his legs and, although he didn't need it because of how string his and Yami's bond was already, it was confirmed to him that those three were lying.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Lying without even blinking?" Seto, annoyed, asked.

At that moment, a man in his late forties stepped beside the three boys and remarked, "Aren't you siding with this kid, Mr. Kaiba? Maybe they are saying the truth and he is the one lying."

Seto could feel his eyebrow twitching in irritation, and he coldly stated, "Forgive me, sir, but it is not any of your concern."

"Yes it is, I am this young man's father," and he pointed to the grey haired boy. "It concerns me if you are calling my son a liar."

"Well, that is because he _is_." Seto coldly repeated his words. "Yami would never hurt anyone without a good reason for it. So I suggest you take your son by the side and have a few words with him about what he and his friends do to others." He bit back angrily and he went down to pry Yami off his legs and try to help him up to his feet again. He wanted to take him upstairs and put him in bed, because these stupid panic attacks usually drained most of Yami's energy. And this was honestly too much for him to handle.

But he was distracted by one of the ladies who were standing with him before Yami came to him like that a while ago. "But…the three of them are lying? He's just one person…" she remarked.

Seto heard the sound of the tiny, almost imperceptible sob Yami let out at hearing that and his anger just increased tenfold. He looked up at her and hissed, "Listen! And not just you…everyone here." And he got up once again, this time with his arms holding Yami upright beside him and he looked at everyone who were around and watching and he spoke, his voice loud and clear, so as to reach all of them.

"Yami is not _just any one_ person. He is not a retard and he is not stupid and I will not accept even a breath taken in the wrong way around him." He said with a frown on his face. He could see the looks of astonishment and bewilderment on everyone's faces, as they wondered what would make the great Seto Kaiba defend someone so vehemently.

He could also feel Yami freezing in his hold, so he tightened his arms around him reassuringly. He did not care that these people were investing their money in his company; to hell with that, because anyone who decided to walk out on him, he will be able to find a million others who would want to invest in their place. Simply put, he won't lose anything if they got angry. But if Yami was even offended din the slightest way…that he could not accept. He did not give a shit about them right now, because he will not accept that Yami would be inconvenienced, or hurt in any way, because of his stupid work…not after this whole mess started because Seto had to be at work that day.

He knew the place was swarming with reporters. He knew that the entire incident will now be in every single newspaper tomorrow morning, but he knew if he did not defend Yami from these monsters, what will be written down in the papers will be mean and cruel and although Yami would never understand what will be written there about him, he, Seto, could never sit back and watch it…let it happen.

"Mr. Kaiba, are you sure it is wise to simply just call the son of one of your investors a liar?" someone asked from somewhere to their side and Seto could recognize the person who spoke as one of the country's most active and famous journalists.

"I am not a liar, dammit, look!" the boy hissed angrily and drew back the sleeve of the coat of the tuxedo he was wearing and the shirt underneath it to reveal his arm which, true enough, had a round, reddish-purple circle, a clear bite mark, on it. "He bit me and I am not lying about it." The boy repeated again, pointing his index finger at Yami who turned away from everything around him and he buried his face in Seto's shoulder.

Seto frowned some more and he pursed his lips and coldly said, with his hand gently squeezing Yami's shoulder reassuringly, "I did not say he did not bite you…I am merely saying that if you have not provoked him first, he would never have done it…and I am really getting impatient with this conversation, so…"

"Isn't he an adult capable of speaking for himself?" the boy's father asked with a displeased frown and a somewhat disgusted look which he directed at Yami.

At that, Seto knew that he had to end this, whichever way he could. "I think that this is more than enough. No one over here has the right to ask me any questions concerning Yami at all. It's none of your business why I am speaking up for him, and considering how this piece of trash standing over there under _daddy's_ protection, has mischief written all over his face, I do not think any of you have the right to question Yami as to why he bit him or took his eye out."

"I haven't done anything to him…" the boy started, but he stopped and so did everyone else who started objecting to Seto's words, when Yami turned and spoke for the first time since this big mess started.

"He…they told me…they had my new kitty outside…" he mumbled with a displeased frown and a slightly moping look on his face. Seto blinked and looked down at him, just like everyone else looked at him, as he carried on, "But…they told me they wanted to play a game first…Seto, I…I don't wanna play what… what they wanted to play, Seto…" and he stopped speaking because his voice broke over the words and a sob interrupted him, and then he placed his head on Seto's shoulder again.

At hearing Yami's explanation and point of view of the whole situation, Seto felt anger half-blinding him. He did not know where he got the self-control not to go over to the three and rip their throats out with his teeth. His arms rose up once more and he pulled Yami closer to his body and he narrowed his eyes and hissed at the young man, whose face was now a bright red color as everyone stared at him in shock and realization, "This is truly your lucky day…get the hell out of my house before I call the police and be grateful that there are so many people around who would stop me from strangling you right on the spot."

And he turned his attention onto Yami who was clinging harder to him, and said in a low voice, "Come I'll take you upstairs…" and he was going to leave with Yami, but a swarm of really interested journalists stopped him.

Questions, intrusive and completely insensitive, flooded in on him. Questions which he couldn't answer well enough to get them off his back, and at the same time, he couldn't answer them because Yami was with him. He tried to say that he will not be answering anything and that it was none of their business, but they just wouldn't and couldn't let the matter go and more questions were asked.

Seto was getting more and more irritated, but the moment one of them started bothering Yami, that was when he knew that this had to stop.

With one hand on the hand of the man who was asking Yami something about recalling what happened out in the garden, Seto made the man back off a little. At that, the others stopped and stood back a little, so he said, "Do not…" and he paused for effect, glaring intensely at each and every one of them, then continued, "bother him. Any questions you want to ask, ask me and I will answer you. I promise you that. Just do not bother him…"

They looked at him for a bit, then nodded. He searched for Roland with his eyes, and found him heading towards them at that moment. He waited till he was nearby and he looked at Yami and whispered in his ear, "Yami, I need you to go with Roland to Yugi's place tonight…I am sorry, but you have to stay there for a while until I fix this mess. I'll come for you tomorrow morning."

Yami looked up at him with huge, terrified crimson eyes and he held onto his arm and said, "But…Seto…"

Seto turned to Roland and handed Yami over to him, "Get Piika and take them both to Yugi's."

Roland nodded curtly and dragged Yami away towards the entrance of the Mansion, ignoring his objections and pleas to stay with Seto and moving as quickly as possible, since some of the reporters present were hinting that they were about to follow. On their way, they met Piika, who jumped into Yami's arms when he bent down to hold her. Roland placed him inside one of the cars and got inside behind the steering wheel and started driving away at top speed.

Yami looked back at the Mansion, then sadly averted his eyes to his lap, so he could stare at Piika with gloomy eyes and he remarked, not knowing if he was speaking to himself, or to Roland, or to the kitten, "Yami made a big mess this time…"

* * *

Yugi invited his friends over, after taking the opportunity that Mai was around. Sure he and Tristan and Téa had to wait till a little after 08:30PM, laughing themselves silly in the Game Shop's living room, until Mai and Joey came back from the…somewhere they both had to go to and could not avoid…

The three knew that Joey and Mai were out on a date together, of course, but they chose to pretend they believed them and kept their laughter about it for later on when they were eating the pizza they ordered for dinner. It was much more fun that way, to laugh about it behind their backs, then when they arrived, both looking like kids caught with their hand in the cookie jar, they made half-hearted, not-so-sincere attempts at not teasing them by laughing and giggling randomly after staring at them. It drove Joey and Mai out of their mind…

But, although Yugi was having a lot of fun with his friends that evening, he couldn't help the small, nagging voice at the back of his mind which kept him worried, for a reason unknown to him. Something was wrong, he could feel it. He called himself paranoid a couple of times throughout the evening, and he would immerse himself in the group's conversation for a while, before the uneasy, edgy feeling would return again.

He blamed a lot of that uneasiness on the fact that today was that huge General Meeting of KaibaCorp, which was held at the Kaiba Mansion. Ever since Seto told him about it, he was unable to stop worrying. Yami will not be comfortable around so many people. So many snooty people who would _surely_ make him uncomfortable. He knew Seto was right, that Yami would go crazy at the mere idea of staying away from Seto even for one evening, but he couldn't help but hope Yami had stayed with him until this event was over.

He started relaxing a little though when the clock ticked little past 10:30PM and he did not hear of any disasters yet. He sat beside Téa with more ease and he fixed his eyes on the movie they had been watching.

However, a few moments later, the doorbell rang and when Yugi went to open it, he gasped softly when he saw Yami standing on the door, with Piika hugged close to his chest and with his head bowed down and a brooding, sad expression on his face, which was extremely pale and smudgy with what Yugi horrifically realized to be tears. Roland was standing behind him with an anxious look.

Immediately, Yugi rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Yami and asked urgently, "What's wrong? Oh my God…were you crying?"

Yami did not answer, but his crimson eyes seemed a lot more brighter and his sad expression seemed to double in its intensity. Yugi looked at Roland in askance, so the man cleared his throat and muttered, "Mr. Kaiba told Yami to stay here tonight until unexpected trouble is sorted out."

Yugi gently made Yami come in and asked with a frown, "What trouble?"

At that, Yami spoke, "Yami…Yami spoilt…the party for Seto…"

Yugi blinked and blankly stared at Roland for an explanation, but then Roland vehemently shook his head and determinedly said, "No, Yami did not spoil anything; I can assure you."

Yami mumbled miserably, "Yes, Yami spoilt Seto's evening…"

Yugi did not respond to Yami for the time being and asked Roland urgently, "What happened?"

By that time, the others had gathered around. Yami, on seeing Mai, forgot about his sadness for a bit and gave her a wink. She smirked and winked back at him.

Meanwhile, Roland was explaining what happened as briefly as he could, "A few kids were annoying Master Yami and he…erm…sort of…bit one of them…they complained, Mr. Kaiba defended him and…well, the press is not dealing well with it right now. Mr. Kaiba asked me to bring Yami here to avoid upsetting him."

Yugi nodded in realization and looked at Yami who was now giggling uncontrollably at Mai's winks, and he said, "Okay…you go help Seto out. Yami will be okay here."

Roland nodded and turned around to head to the car he came in with Yami. Yugi waited till he got inside the car then shut the door and turned to Yami, who was now sitting on the floor with Piika, and with Mai kneeling down beside them to play with the kitty.

"Yami, if you want, come with me upstairs so you can change and go to bed…" Yugi said distractedly, wanting to go to the living room and switch to local channel because surely, surely, if it was as bad as it looked, it must be on TV right now.

Yami turned his eyes to him, and said, suddenly looking sad once more, "No…Yami will wait for Seto…"

Yugi sighed; nothing will change Yami's mind now. "Okay, just go with Mai…or Téa to the kitchen so they can fix you a snack?" and he looked at Mai and Téa pointedly, a pleading look in his eyes. He did not want Yami in the room if they saw anything related to what happened on TV.

Yami nodded and got up, excitedly saying, "YAMI WANTS YUGI'S COOKIES!" and he raced Téa and Mai to the kitchen.

Yugi waited till Yami was out of sight and rushed to the living room to flip through the channels. Joey, who usually objected to interrupting a good movie midway, was silent and his face turned grim.

Sure enough, when Yugi stopped at the correct channel, Seto was standing amongst a huge crowd of reporters, and Yugi could make out the extremely annoyed look on his face and he was replying to some question he was asked earlier obviously, with a voice which he tried to make as even and as calm as possible, considering how angry he seemed. "…concerns a private matter, which in my opinion should remain just that."

Yugi bit his lip worriedly as another person from the back of the crowd remarked, "Mr. Kaiba, it is an obligation towards your investors to explain why you called the son of one of them a liar and chose to believe someone who very obviously is mentally challenged, over him. Don't you think that it would cause a feeling of consternation amongst the shareholders because any one of them could have his son or daughter called a liar publicly as what happened today with Mr. Watts, who is one of KaibaCorp's most important investors?"

Yugi wondered if Seto really called someone a liar in public like that, but he then decided that since there was such a big fuss right now about it, then it must have really happened. He watched in silence as Seto replied with a cool, contained voice, "First and foremost…as I have already demanded of several people tonight, I would prefer it if you stopped degrading Yami in any possible way or I will terminate this unneeded press conference instantly."

There was silence, until the reporter who spoke said, "I apologize, Mr. Kaiba."

Seto gave a curt nod and glared slightly as he answered the question, "To answer your question, I do not have to explain anything. Mr. Watts' son and his friends were harassing Yami and as I said, Yami would never physically attack anyone for no reason. I am very sure of that and you heard for yourself what really happened. You cannot hear one side of the story and determine who is at fault. When we all heard Yami's explanation of what happened, it was very clear that those three had ulterior motives when they started speaking to him. And besides, Yami cannot lie…those three, however, I am pretty sure that everything about them is a big lie."

There was a loud noise for a bit, as everyone tried to ask a question, until one of them managed to ask a question which appealed to everyone else, "Mr. Kaiba, who exactly is that boy…Yami?"

Silence hung heavy for a while, and Yugi could clearly see the very slight hesitation on Seto's face, before it disappeared split seconds after it showed and determination flooded the clear blue eyes and Seto said in a smooth, confident voice, "Yami is my lover…"

Yugi raised a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes in exasperation as an uproar of disbelieving gasps, questions and amazed exclamations rose up from the reporters surrounding Seto, who kept a poker face on in response to all of that.

"Shit…" Joey murmured under his breath and Tristan agreed with a 'hn'.

Seto's and Yami's relationship was not announced publicly. Not that Seto was not capable of getting rid of any disturbances that may have came up from such a piece of information leaking out to the media, but because he and Yami had preferred to keep their privacy to the max. That was before that 'small' accident Yami had, and after it, it was decided that it was for the best if such a thing was kept secret from the media.

Seto was an important businessman and one of the richest men in the world. And the title just carried an immense, unneeded bonus of enemies, rivals, business adversaries and others who were so greedy they could sell an arm in return for a small portion of Seto's wealth and power. Even before Yami's regression to the state he was in, Seto knew that Yami may be a point of weakness for him, even if he hated admitting it. Yami also knew that. Everyone knew it. That was why Yami was extremely careful all the time and had an eye out on his surroundings, even if it was not publicized that he and Seto were in a relationship.

After the assault of those escaped convicts… Yami's prudence and awareness of his surroundings became lesser and hence any danger he may have been in before increased tenfold. It was just for the best that they kept their relationship undisclosed except to only very close people.

So now, for Seto to just blurt it out like that…

Yugi opened his eyes and stared at the TV as Seto managed to silence everyone around him with a glare, and he resumed in a final, determined voice, "I will believe Yami's word over the word of any of my so-called investors. I am saying this now so that this whole matter is settled once and for all. Yami doesn't stick around me for my money, and that explains why I would believe him over any of my investors or my employees. I love him…" he paused, as though he knew that what he just said was something extremely huge and Yugi bit his lip very hard at the flash of pain he saw in Seto's eyes, as he resumed, "I am ready to give up the world for Yami… I know that those three kids today bothered him and that is why he attacked them back and that is why he came running for his life to me today as you have all seen. I know that because that is what Yami said…"

There was utter silence from everyone around Seto and in the Game Shop's living room. Everyone's eyes, and the cameras, were fixed on Seto's face, dominated by a resolute expression and with his lips pursed firmly in determination.

"My investors…they are truly valuable to me, and to my company and my employees…but Yami means more to me than anything else in this world. I do not think that what happened today with me calling Mr. Watts' son a liar, is something that is likely to repeat, unless of course someone bothers Yami again. I also do not see how any of what I have announced right now may have any effect on my investors' business point of view. This is all I have to say about this topic for now and I would appreciate if it is never brought up again."

And he turned away, and started leaving towards the exit of the hall, after pointing to the guards to escort the guests out of the Mansion where the press conference was held. He ignored all the calls and the requests for another question or a minute of his time and left.

On TV, the news broadcaster appeared once again, with an amazed expression on her face. She was shaking her head and saying, "And this shocking and unexpected announcement ends this unplanned press conference, taking place in the Kaiba Mansion subsequent to the surprising and discourteous incident, where Seto Kaiba, teenage prodigy, CEO of KaibaCorp, rejected the proclaims of the son of one of his investors, that one of the anonymous guests of KaibaCorp's AGM attacked him. The following are scenes which took place prior to the press conference."

Yugi watched in shock, sadness and silence as a clear scene of Yami clinging to Seto and crying was publicized like that for the whole world to see. He blinked and felt a single tear traveling down his cheek, as he saw Seto petting Yami on his hair and his back while making little shushing noises to try and calm him down. It was a complete scene caught on camera, and Yugi saw all that happened, right up to the point where Roland took Yami away after ignoring his requests to stay behind with the brunet, who was immediately bombarded by questions and queries. The scene later shifted and started showing the press conference from the beginning once more.

Yugi got up and turned around to go to the kitchen, but he stopped abruptly when he found Yami standing in the doorway, staring at the TV screen with bright crimson eyes that wept torrents of tears. His face was completely blank, and he was just standing there with his hands by his side, as he stared at the screen, as Seto's words about him were repeated.

He seemed to be in shock, as Seto declared to so many people that they were lovers, that he, Seto, was not ashamed of Yami's current state of mind. He seemed as though he was disbelieving that Seto said those words with so much fervor, without hesitation. To him, it obviously meant something that was so tremendous for even Yugi, who used to share a body and mind with him, to decipher and define.

Yugi walked closer to him and stood beside him. He stared at his expressionless, tear-streaked face, before he sighed and said in a low voice, "Look…it's been a long day, so why don't you go upstairs to our room to get some sleep?"

Yami blinked and numbly nodded, before turning around to walk towards the stairs. He stopped midway to pick Piika up, then continued his way upstairs without saying another word.

* * *

Seto couldn't sleep that night.

He lay in bed for hours…but he just couldn't sleep. He'd tossed and turned and every time he couldn't pull Yami's small, warm body closer to his, he would sigh out and turn on his back or on his other side and try to sleep in another position. Before the cycle would repeat all over again, of course. Eventually, at around 04:30AM he gave up and pushed the covers off and got up.

He put some random pair of track pants and a hoodie and grabbed his cell phone and wallet. He went to Mokuba's room and gently woke his brother up to tell him that he will be going out. Mokuba, sleepily, asked, "To Yugi's?" Seto nodded so Mokuba nodded as well and mumbled, "'Kay…take care…" and he was asleep once more.

Seto walked out of the Mansion after pulling the hood over his head to hide his face do that only the tip of his nose was visible and he started jogging out of the Manor grounds and towards the Game Shop.

It took him about fifteen minutes to reach it. He stood gasping for breath in front of the door and he looked behind him to make sure that he was not followed, although he knew that he wouldn't get bothered much at this hour. When he was sure he was the only person on the street right now, he turned back to the door and rang the bell.

He knew Yugi and Solomon must be sleeping but he just needed to see Yami right now. Yami himself was also sleeping most probably, but he wouldn't wake up, since he was so tired yesterday. Seto bit the corner of his lip and stood shifting impatiently from one foot to the other, waiting for the door to be opened. He couldn't help it. He had to be here. He felt depraved, and very guilty, because he knew that Yami got a really bad scare because of those three brats last night.

The door finally opened and Yugi appeared from behind it, blinking and rubbing his left eye sleepily. "Hey," he said, and opened the door wider to let Seto inside. "I expected you to come over…" he paused a little and then added, "Just not now…"

"Sorry," Seto said distractedly, taking off his sneakers beside the door. "Where's Yami?"

"C'mon, I'll take you upstairs. The others were over so I gave him the room to himself and we slept in the living room. Though I don't know if he slept or not." Seto looked at him blankly so he sighed and explained, "I tried to make sure that he was not in the same room where we were watching the news broadcast yesterday…but he ended up seeing all of it. He couldn't sleep at all. Last time I checked on him was an hour ago and he was still awake."

Seto ran a hand through his hair tiredly, pushing off the hood on the way; he did not want this to happen. He did not want Yami to be put through such a horrible experience like yesterday's. He hoped Yami was okay.

He kept silent and followed Yugi up the stairs. Yugi stood in front of his and, formerly, Yami's room and he shrugged and mumbled, "You go in. We won't disturb you guys till you come down by yourselves."

Seto nodded and turned to the door and opened it as quietly as he could. He didn't need to though, because when he got inside and closed the door once more behind him, he saw that Yami was awake and he was sitting curled up in the window seat, wearing a pair of his pajamas which he left behind after moving into the Kaiba Mansion. His eyes were fixed unblinkingly at the street outside, and Piika was curled up on his lap, fast asleep.

When the door closed, he started slightly and turned around. When he saw it was Seto, he turned away once more. Seto approached him hesitantly, but stopped when Yami got up and turned around and started walking towards him. Yami stood in front of him, with his head bowed down and his hair shadowing his face. Seto did not know what to do or say, so instead, he raised his hand to place it on Yami's shoulder to pull him into his arms.

At that, Yami made a small, choking sound at the back of his throat and he raised his arms, now void of Piika who woke up the moment he got up, and he wrapped them around Seto and he choked out, "I'm so sorry, Seto…I tried…to get away from them…without trouble…but… they…they wouldn't…" and he broke off because his voice failed him and he clutched tightly at the back of Seto's hoodie and buried his face into his chest, crying his heart out.

Seto's hand rose up to Yami's hair and he whispered to him, "Yami…please stop…I know you didn't mean for this to happen…"

Yami's head tilted up and he stared at Seto with red-rimmed eyes, which told tales of how much he cried in the past few hours, and he pathetically whimpered, "But it did…I spoilt the whole evening…I'm so sorry…"

"Yami you didn't… it's not your fault. Stop crying, please." Seto told him, and he wiped away the tears on Yami's face with the back of his hand. Yami bit his lip and once again put his head on Seto's chest.

They stayed like that for a while, neither wanting to let go or break the comfort the moment brought both of them after the stress of the past few hours. Yami eventually stopped crying with Seto's touch and the little bits of nonsense the brunet kept telling him in his ear.

"You haven't slept till now…" Seto remarked quietly.

"You didn't either."

Seto smiled bitterly at Yami's sudden maturity. Wasn't this unfair? Wasn't it horrible, to have to disturb Yami so much with incidents like last night's in order to get him to speak and act properly and remark about obvious things with intelligence like before?

"No, I did not…" Seto mumbled distractedly, trying to push away those thoughts. "Let's sleep then…"

"You'll stay with me?" Yami asked, looking up at him with hopeful crimson eyes.

"Yes, I will," Seto told him. He knew that, just like he meant those three words in more ways than one, they meant to Yami more than just staying together right now. He pulled away and took Yami by the arm to the bed and he pulled back the covers. "C'mon…you're tired."

Yami climbed into bed and after he lay down, he turned to look up at Seto and scoot sideways, giving him space on the bed. Seto slid into the bed as well and wrapped his arm around Yami's waist, just as Yami put his hands on his chest and placed his forehead on his shoulder. Seto pulled Yami closer to him and his eyes slid shut at the familiar, comfortable feeling of having Yami's body fitting so snugly beside his and feeling his warmth permeating throughout his own body and reaching deeper to touch a hidden, intact part of him that no one else touched.

Within a few moments, both were sleeping comfortably.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading.

Hathor…


	4. Chapter 4

**Yours To Hold**

**Chapter Four**

Mai placed her hand on the railing at the foot of the stairs of the Game Shop and stared up in silent hesitation. It was a little after nine in the morning, but neither Yami or Seto came down for breakfast. Were they okay?

Joey passed by at that moment. "Hey, whatcha doin'?" he asked with a small, slightly-tired smile.

She looked at him in silence for a few moments, before sighing and running a hand through her blonde locks, "I'm worried about them."

It was Joey's turn to sigh, "Aren't we all? Yami's had too much action yesterday. I wonder if…"

"You see? That's what worries me the most," Mai interrupted, shaking her head sorrowfully and narrowing her eyes. Joey stared at her questioningly, so she asked, "Don't you see it, Joey? All of you think that Yami's the one suffering the most here when actually…" she trailed off, not really knowing if Joey –nicknamed 'the mutt' by the very same person she was trying to draw attention to—would agree that Seto was the one suffering the most.

"When it's actually Kaiba's the one who's miserable," she was amazed to hear Joey continuing her sentence with a resigned tone of voice. She looked at him in silence, marveling how much he matured in the time she spent away from him, while he resumed, rubbing his eyes rather tiredly, "It's not that we didn' notice it. It's just…simpler, tryna take care of Yami. Kaiba's not even admittin' somethin' might be wrong with him. Yami's way easier to deal with."

"That doesn't mean you should let Kaiba carry on like this," she murmured, trying to focus on Yami's and Seto's situation, instead of selfishly letting her thoughts stray over to thinking of Joey. "Is Yami seeing someone to help him with…" she gesticulated, unable to find words to help her explain her point.

"He did mention something about Dr. Muraki, right?" Joey asked, leaning on the wall and crossing his arms. She nodded, so he explained, "He's Yami's personal physician and his psychiatrist. When Yami got outta the hospital, he wasn' fine, his body wasn' totally healed, and he needed someone to consult for any lapses. Kaiba and him were out once and Yami passed out on him. The dude happened to be there and even if he's a shrink, he knows all he needs to wake him up again. When Yami woke up, he and that Muraki hit off very nicely, and since then, he'd been Yami's psychiatrist and physician."

Mai felt the uncomfortable prick of tears at the corners of her eyes and she blinked and looked away from Joey, not wanting to appear weak. This was…terrible. And that was to put it lightly. Full-time physician, a psychiatrist, tension…sudden lapses in health…were these the words she ever thought she could associate with the two strongest rivals and friends she ever came across? No…

She stiffened very slightly, feeling a familiar, large, comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up, realizing with defeat that her tears had won, and that she was silently shedding them in front of Joey, for those two people upstairs who deserved none of what happened to them. She closed her eyes in despair and, acting on instincts, she moved closer to Joey, leaning her forehead against his shoulder, seeking solace and reassurance.

She found Joey offering the prior, but the latter wasn't anywhere in sight. There wasn't really any reassurance Joey could offer that there was a way to set things right. Yami's condition didn't imply that it was improving any time soon. Unless of course he went through trauma just as shocking as the one he'd gone through a year or so back. And she couldn't think of anything worse than what happened to him…

"Isn't there _any_ way out of this?" she protested, feeling oppressed on behalf of Yami and Seto.

Joey sighed, cheering her very slightly with the strong, steady rumble of the deep breath in his chest, but didn't say anything. She didn't blame him. It was a rhetorical question, mostly. There _was_ no way to help them.

After a while of silence, Joey muttered in worry, "I'm more worried about wha' happened yesterday." She stared up at him, moving away slightly, thankful that she didn't blush at their close proximity and he smoothly let it go without rubbing it in her face that she had cried and found comfort in his touch, and he added, "The media won't let this go so easily…"

Mai swallowed a huge lump that suddenly formed in her throat and sighed out, "No…they won't. I'm just grateful no one's recognized Yami so far…"

"Oh shit," he suddenly said, eyes widening. "I never thought of that."

"Look. I'll go upstairs check on them…" she said, needing a distraction. Needing something to do for them, even if it was insignificant.

He nodded, "Oright…I'll be in the livin' room."

She turned to the stairs and climbed to the second floor of the house. She headed towards the room, standing before it in silence for a little while. She then raised a hand and knocked very gently on the door, so that if its two occupants were awake, they would hear it yet if they weren't awake, they would continue sleeping peacefully.

She waited for a few moments, after which she was about to turn around to leave to go back downstairs. However, she stopped when she heard a small tick that indicated the door opening behind her. She looked back to see the door opening and Yami blearily rubbing his left eye and yawning, while trying to keep a good hold on Piika, and at the same time, not make any noise.

She immediately took Piika to help him with his many tasks. The kitten mewled unhappily, sleepily pawing at her and squirming, trying to return back to Yami, who waited until the door was closed, before answering his pet's pleas and taking her in his arms once more.

Mai smiled widely, concealing any sorrow she was feeling, "Good morning Yami…"

"'Morning…" he mumbled, blinking.

She tried not to laugh, at the way one eye seemed to obey him and open, but the other would still be closed. "Breakfast? Or would you like to go back to bed?" she asked, her hearty laughter coming out as a small giggle at the adorable scene before her.

He seemed to consider his options. He stared at door to the room, then at the stairs. He then paused and both eyes opened wide awake. He sniffed slightly. "Pancakes?" he asked hopefully.

"Sure!" she nodded, placing her hands on his shoulders and steering him towards the stairs. She didn't need to, really, because the moment he placed his bare feet on the ground downstairs, he literally ran towards the kitchen, happily asking the pancakes to come out and lie down on the plate to get ready for their "new house inside Yami's tummy".

* * *

It was messy… very messy.

It had been a matter of a few hours into the new day, that the media and the annoying paparazzi found out Yami's identity. It was also a matter of a few hours after they found out Yami's identity, that they found out about his current condition. Fuck top-secret sections' discretion and fuck doctor-patient confidentiality, Seto decided as he tried to calm his thoughts long enough to figure out how to deal with this and prevent Yami any more harm than necessary. There was no point trying to get back at whoever let it leak, how Yami was at that particular moment. it was most probably the fault of both the police _and_ the hospital that now every single tabloid show and business section came together to colorfully announce "Seto Kaiba's relationship with a mentally-retarded male".

No…'very messy' didn't even come an inch closer to how it really was.

He had…for a moment of reckless thoughts of his tired and overtaxed mind, wished that he never made such a huge announcement in front of the entire business world like that. But immediately…he realized what that would have done to Yami.

Yami had seen the news broadcast yesterday evening. If Seto had said anything other than what he said, whatever had remained of Yami cocooned inside this…this outer shell of childishness, would have been killed ruthlessly. If he had said anything other than what he said… and if Yami had heard him, then nothing would have guaranteed that he still had Yami's trust.

It must have been some sort of a telepathic bond between their minds. Yesterday as he stood surrounded by all those nosey reporters, he _had_ considered lying. He had considered saying that Yami meant nothing to him. But something killed whatever hesitation he had, regarding saying the truth. That Yami was everything that made sense in his life. He didn't lie.

But now?

He buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes tiredly and trying to organize his thoughts. For once…he couldn't.

Yami was not with him right now. He was still at the Game Shop, since that was the only safe place at that moment, as the media still didn't get to it. And if they did, they had backup plans. Joey's place next, followed by Téa's, then Tristan's and finally, the tiny place just out of town that Mai had rented. Anything in their power was to be done to make sure that Yami was safely away from the media's terrible way of dealing with the revelations they came to, about Yami's identity as the former King of Games and the assault launched at him a while ago. Seto could focus better now than before. But he craved Yami's presence now…

When he needed his touch the most, Yami wasn't there. The press were harassing him beyond reason, demanding to speak to Yami. The share prices plummeted, costing the company over two times the net profits it generated per annum. Oh what Seto wouldn't pay to get a glimpse of that bright-eyed look of happiness on Yami's face! He was content with Yami as he was right now. Who was he to complain anyway? He just needed to see those crimson eyes right now…

"Mr. Kaiba?"

He looked up, seeing Roland standing in the doorway. He raised an eyebrow questioningly after a blink or two, to clear his vision.

"Your media advisor would like to see you about the…situation, at hand."

Media advisor?

"Media advisor?" he voiced his mental question blankly. He had one? He didn't know.

"Yes, Mr. Kaiba, she would like to speak to you and sort out the situation at hand, with the least possible damage," Roland affirmed. Bless him, always so professional, Seto thought dully, nodding absentmindedly. "Should I bring her in, sir?"

He nodded once again.

He sat in silence, waiting for an old hag to come and yell at him for being a fag or something… expected, and that was why, all preparations he had come up with, to yell at the bitch and send her out, crumpled to pointless trash at his feet at the sight of the young woman who walked into his office with grace.

She wasn't old. And she wasn't a hag. And Seto didn't even think she had it in her to yell at anyone at all.

She smiled and it seemed that her entire face lit up with that grin. She had a fair, beautiful face, the details of which were tiny and adorable, creating an image of some beautiful nymph, rather than a young woman. Gorgeous lilac-colored eyes, lined with long lashes, a small nose, the tip of which turned up with pride and a small, full-lipped mouth that was parted with that sweet smile, showing off the even set of white teeth. Her hair was wavy, strange; white…no, blue in color, held up in an elegant ponytail, with a few strands escaping to frame the heart-shaped face. She had shockingly-pale skin that made her look like some ice-princess. She had slight make-up on, which enhanced the fair face's features, without being overdone. Her clothes consisted of a professional, brown and beige suit, a blazer that hugged the slim, sexy figure in all the right places and the skirt of it ending just above her knees, showing off the remainder of her slender legs. She wore high-heeled shoes that had him wondering just how she could stand on them, never mind walking so confidently and calmly towards him.

She looked like… Kisara. She looked so much like that girl he had seen back when he found himself dragged into some unreal adventure in Ancient Egypt…the girl who held the power of the Blue Eyes White Dragon…

She was beautiful and even 'the' Seto Kaiba couldn't say anything to err that.

"Mr. Kaiba," she pleasantly greeted, her smile widening as she extended a slender hand, wanting to shake hands with him. "I'm Kithara Al-Simma, and I am here to discuss with you possible solutions to the little propaganda making headlines today and the next couple of days." **(1)**

He took her offered hand and asked with a raised eyebrow, "_Little_ propaganda?"

She laughed, so carefree and indifferent. He stared at her as he sat down behind his desk, and, against his will, he too started calming down. Did she have this effect on people? Really, because he didn't think it was even possible to calm down at a time like this. She had to be doing something to him.

He pushed the thoughts aside as he asked, motioning for her to take a seat, "So…umm… Miss. Al-Simma…"

"Kisara," she interrupted with a pleasant grin, sitting down in the seat he had pointed to, and crossing her legs and leaning them to the side elegantly. Seto stared at her in silent incomprehension, struck speechless by the coincidence –was it one?—, so she added, "Call me Kisara. We'll be seeing each other more often now, because this is not as 'little' as I said it was. I'm more comfortable being called 'Kisara'. It's easier than 'Kithara' or 'Miss. Al-Simma'."

Usually, if it had been at any other time…Seto would have retorted with a snappy comment that would have sent someone as delicate as Kithara –Kisara, he corrected himself mentally—crying. Instead, he gave a little smile and said, "Kisara it is, then…"

She flashed that charming smile at him once again, before asking, "Now, Mr. Kaiba, I'd like to ask you a few questions. They will be personal and they are mostly about that…that Yami, or whatever…"

At that, Seto scowled and interrupted her, "Yami will not be referred to except with utmost respect, Kisara. If we do not agree on that, then you know the way out."

For a moment, he thought she was about to roll her eyes, before she grinned in that oh-so-charming way and tilted her head sideways, "Of course, Mr. Kaiba."

For the moment he believed her and paid attention to answering her questions and inquiries. He didn't even think for a moment, that behind the charming agreement to addressing Yami with greatest respect and admiration, she was calling his sweet lover the worst of names and wishing him evilest of what could happen to anyone…

* * *

Joey walked into the Game Shop with Yugi, carrying a bag of groceries with the shorter boy. Joey was teasing Yugi about the change in hairstyle. After the incident with KaibaCorp's AGM eight days ago, it was decided that there was no need for Yugi to get dragged into this as well, because of his and Yami's similar appearance. The boy decided to cut his hair, shortening the blonde strands in front, as well as the ebony ones at the back. He stopped spiking it, letting the short, smooth locks scatter rather messily on top of his head, creating an adorable look that caused a little bit of trouble, as they tried to extricate Téa from Yugi.

Joey and Tristan, of course, being the very good friends that they were to Yugi, didn't let the issue go no matter how intensely the shorter teenager glared at both of them.

However, the only thing that stopped Joey from carrying on with his merciless teasing was Yami's tearful face and sullen appearance as he sat curled up on the couch, staring off into space.

"Yami, what's wrong?" Yugi asked in dismay, rushing over to Yami's side. Piika mewled and jumped from where she was perched beside Yami, to climb up to his shoulder. She curled up over there, her tail going around the back of Yami's neck and dangling off the opposite shoulder.

Joey watched in silence, an upset expression on his face as he set down his and Yugi's bag—which the boy had shoved into his hands quickly at seeing Yami's obvious distress. He was surprised when Yami refused to answer and curled up into a tinier ball on the couch, pressing into the armrest in insecurity that looked…obscene on _any_ person, not just Yami.

Actually, now that he thought of it, as he leaned against the doorway to the living room watching Yugi trying to breach Yami's defenses…he realized that he was getting used to Yami like this. It wasn't…weird anymore. The thought was horror. He was slowly losing the memories he had of the proud, extremely powerful person Yami had been. They were being malignantly eaten away with every passing day by the terrible reality they… no, Yami, was stuck inside. Yami was dying in a completely new, yet equally terrifying, way.

Just as he swallowed back the nausea he felt at the thoughts, Yugi had managed to make Yami speak. Well, not speak, but whimper out in pain, "Yami is very…upset."

"_Why_!" Yugi, terrified he was doing a lousy job at taking care of Yami, exclaimed, wrapping his arms carefully around his other half. "I'm sorry I left you alone, I really had to get the groceries…I even brought you a…"

He was interrupted by an audible hitch in Yami's breath, and a shake of his head and he whimpered out a single word, "Seto…"

"What's wrong with him?" Yugi asked, expecting Yami to say something about missing him, because the former monarch had been in a dreadful mood for the past few days, asking for Seto and even refusing to eat at times because of how awful he was feeling.

But even Joey couldn't be prepared for what Yami said next, hugging his knees closer to his chest and burying his face into the top of them, hiccupping in dejection, "I'm wrong with him…" he then paused, his breath heaving, making his voice break over his words as he resumed, "I'm everything that's… wrong with him."

There was complete silence in the room, save for Yami's uneven breaths and sniffles. The other two boys were trying to take in what Yami just said. It was a huge surprise he spoke in first person so suddenly. It was an unpleasant surprise that he was crying with so much fervor. It was a disgusting surprise what he said… the way he was thinking, right now.

Joey's hand twitched, as he was halfway through rushing over to Yami to try and offer some comfort, and tell him that he was thinking in a very wrong manner. No, he told himself, staying still. Let Yugi handle this. He knows better. What could he possible say to make Yami feel better at a time like this?

"Yami…you're everything beautiful that ever happened to Seto. Why are you saying such things?" Yugi was quietly mumbling, moving closer to Yami to wrap the other arm around him. "Don't say things that would make Seto angry…"

However, to Joey's immense dismay, Yugi's words didn't seem to convince Yami at all…

"How could you say that? Can't you… can't you see?" Yami shrunk even more, as though trying to disappear and never come back as he hissed venomously, voice filled with self-blame and disgust, "_I ruined his life_!"

"How can you say such things, Yami?" Yugi protested, trying to pry Yami's arms away, to look into his eyes. "It's not true…"

"No? Wasn't it my fault, what happened a week ago? Now…now he's losing everything he worked for…everything that means the world to him…" Yami protested, looking up finally, this time to stare at the television as though it was to be blamed as well. "I should have…I should have died that night…"

"Yami, stop it!" Yugi admonished angrily, scowling. "That' stupid. If you'd died, Seto would have died with you that day…"

The conversation was just too painful… Joey couldn't handle it at all. He turned around…and ran away from it. He walked out of the living room just in time to miss Yami's reply. He went outside, taking a deep whiff of the fresh, night-air and exhaled it powerfully, feeling a little stress leaving along with it.

At that moment, a car stopped in front of the Game Shop and Seto got out, wearing a sweatshirt with the hood pulled on top of his head and a pair of large sunglasses covering most of his face. Joey would have laughed at any other time, at the way the glasses were absolutely inconsistent with the night, but this…what he just heard right now…he didn't think he would be able to laugh for a week or two from now.

"Hey," he greeted distractedly, knowing that he should at least give the guy a little warning about what to expect when he walked in right now. Seto gave him a small nod, so he added immediately, not wanting to prolong this more than necessary, "Yami's in a pretty rough shape in there…" Seto raised an eyebrow, but otherwise remained silent, so Joey added, "It's difficult to explain…but I thought I should warn ya. He jus' said that he was everythin' that's wrong with ya, and that he shoulda died that night when he was attacked."

Seto didn't need any more warnings than that. He nodded curtly his thanks and strode inside the Game Shop. Joey stayed outside for a little while, until he heard the door opening and closing behind him. He turned to see Yugi standing there, hands in his pockets as he absentmindedly stared up at the sky.

When they returned back inside, Yami was asleep curled up at Seto's side. The brunet had an arm around him, pulling him closer. The blue eyes looked even more tired now than they had been earlier and on top of that, had an expression of utter despair in them.

"Is he okay?" Joey asked, taking a seat on the armchair.

Seto was silent for a moment or two, before shaking his head, "No…"

* * *

Two weeks later, the whole thing with the media started cooling off. The topic became a little old and with Seto's insistent silence and Yami's lack of appearance in public, nothing juicy could be added. The prices of the shares started rising once again and for that, Seto was grateful. He had followed Kisara's advice to the last letter, refusing to offer any explanations, or answers to the annoying questions and intrusiveness.

Roland finally found the time to secretly sneak Yami back inside the Mansion without a huge media frenzy starting up. Yami comfortably settled back into his old lifestyle. Well, as much as Seto's _new_ lifestyle, allowed him to.

The brunet left before Yami was up at 7:30AM. He didn't return home except a little after midnight everyday. Yami found himself alone most of the time in the house, with only Mokuba to give him company for a few hours.

Soon, Yami found that he had no one to talk to except his psychiatrist. Out of the blue, he would call up Dr. Muraki and start talking to him about Piika, about what he saw on TV today, about his lessons, about the sweet girl who asked to speak to Mokuba on the phone.

But today, before he got to speak to Dr. Muraki about anything, he found the bell ringing. He jumped up to answer it, opening the door with a huge, cheerful smile on his face. "SETO!" he exclaimed in happiness, throwing his arms around the brunet's neck, seeing him standing in the doorway.

"Hey Yami…sorry, won't stay long. I have to get a file from here before going somewhere," Seto hugged him hastily and brushed past him towards his office.

Yami frowned, disappointed, asking dejectedly, "Where?" he was whining, but…he couldn't help it.

"Press conference," Seto curtly said.

Yami nodded, before going to the door once more, to keep it open so that Seto won't be late. He looked at the limo with a disappointed little look, when he froze suddenly, seeing the beautiful, blue-haired girl standing outside it, carrying a paper-binder and a pretty handbag. She was looking…straight at him.

Yami blinked and took a slight step back, just as she narrowed her beautiful eyes and raised an eyebrow in a very aggressive look that made him feel as though she was one inch away from strangling him to death…

At that moment, Seto rushed past him, dropping a quick kiss on his nose, then forehead, calling back as he jogged towards the limo, "Bye Yami…I'll be back early tonight!"

Egged on by that hope, Yami's whole face broke into a huge smile and he said as Seto got inside the limo, "Yami will be waiting!"

Seto smiled once more and disappeared inside the car.

Yami looked up at the girl, who was glaring at him some more in anger, making him shiver rather unpleasantly. What had he done? Why was she looking at him like that?

Finally, she looked away and got inside the car, which sped away a moment after she slammed the door shut.

Yami went back inside and called Dr. Muraki to tell him what happened. After getting a lot of reassurances from Dr. Muraki that he did not do anything wrong at all, Yami hung up, feeling cheerful. He set about asking the cook sweetly to make a nice dinner, as Seto would be back early, and he then went to the living room to help the maids clean up, because Seto would be back early, and stayed out of Mokuba's way, as Seto would be back early.

However, the clock struck 9:30PM, and Seto didn't show up yet. Two hours later, Yami was sitting alone on the couch, worried out of his mind. Where was Seto?

A while later, he fell asleep.

* * *

**(1):** Kithara means a flute, in Arabic. It is not a common Arabic name, but I needed a modern version of Kithara. She ended up asking him to call her Kisara…can you see what's coming next? Anyway, Al-Simma is the surname of the girl in Wilbur Smith's The Seventh Scroll. (Great, GREAT book!)

A/N: thanks for reading, everyone ^_^ Sorry for the delay this week :D

Hathor…


	5. Chapter 5

**Yours To Hold**

**Chapter Five**

Yami sat in the corner of the living room. Not on one of the armchairs or one of the couches or loveseats or whatever. No, he was sitting on the ground, in the one corner of the place that was not occupied by a piece of furniture or an electrical appliance. He had his legs crossed, back leaned against the wall and on his lap, Piika and her newest partner, Chuu –an adorable, little, brown-furred kitten of the same type— squirmed, playing with one another and unconsciously soothing their owner's confused, anxious mind.

He had been sitting like that for quite some time now. He didn't know how he ended up in that position. Maybe it was after Piika and Chuu hid somewhere away from him when the three of them had been playing together. Oh yes, he had gone down to his knees and crawled around like they were. They went and hid from him and he was searching for both of them when the phone rang.

He had answered it cheerfully, voice bubbly and excited from playing, "Yami to the rescue!"

Seto's familiar chuckle on the other end made all the excitement and bubbliness fade. He felt himself shriveling in sudden depression, as Seto asked, "Playing?"

He was silent for a few seconds, making Seto wonder if he was still there and if he was alright. When he spoke again, he answered all three questions with, "No." It was a small comfort to hear the worry in Seto's voice as he retaliated, thinking that Yami had answered only the final question and neglected the prior two. So, he had explained, "No, I am not playing…and I am not here and I am not alright."

"What's wrong?" Seto had asked.

"Where has Seto gone…? Does Seto know…" his voice had broken over the words, but even if he felt like crying, he didn't. He then gathered himself long enough to continue, voice barely higher than a whisper, "Do you know how much I missed you?"

"I'm sorry Yami…I have to compensate for the trouble KaibaCorp went through two months ago," Seto sounded sincere. As sincere as the last time he apologized. And the time before it and the time before it.

He felt bad. It was his fault KaibaCorp suffered. It was his fault Seto had this enormous, additional workload dumped onto his shoulders. It was hence his fault that Seto wasn't around at all. So, he really did not have the right to question why Seto was absent from his life so much. But that did not mean he didn't feel so bad because Seto was no longer there. It made him want to cry.

He wasn't crying right now, though. It was weird. He was just sitting there, staring ahead of him and ignoring the mews and cuddles Piika and Chuu were offering him. His fault. All of it was his fault.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, willing the prickly feeling in the corners of his eyes away. Seto was calling to say he would be late again. He was late everyday, but today, he would be late more than usual today. He must be working with that…that blue-haired girl he had seen earlier, almost a month ago…

At that, no matter how much he tried to keep his eyes clenched closed, he couldn't stop the tears from sliding silently down his face. He bit on his lip as hard as he could, successfully managing to keep the sobs from escaping, though. He felt terrible. He saw Seto for less than an hour everyday. Sometimes, he didn't see him at all. He was starving for Seto's attention but… he didn't know. He had no clue what happened. Seto hated him now? That must be it. The thought made him blink and cry some more. He didn't feel this wretched ever since…

His thoughts halted completely.

He opened his eyes and looked around him, suddenly unsure what happened… unsure of why he was sitting down on the ground like that. He looked down, to see Piika and Chuu staring up at him, pawing with their little front paws at him, suddenly docile and obedient. He sensed wetness on his cheeks and raised his hands to the sides of his face. He started a bit when he blinked again and tears escaped his eyes. Yami was crying? Why was Yami crying…?

"Why was Yami crying?" he voiced his question to the kitties, bewildered.

Piika mewed and trudged over his lap and onto his offered arm. Chuu curled up where she was, and snuggled closer to him. He stared at both of them, before moving onto his knees, interrupting Chuu's snuggling and Piika's ascending journey towards his shoulder, her new, favorite spot to sleep. He picked up the phone lying nearby and called a number he was asked to memorize.

After a few rings, before the person on the other end picked up.

"Hey Yam-Yam!"

Yami smiled at hearing Joey's voice, "Can Joey come take Yami to Yugi's house?"

There was a pause at the other end, before Joey asked, "Is somethin' wrong? Kaiba not there?"

Yami shook his head, before remembering that Joey couldn't see him, so he said, "Seto is busy. Yami doesn't want to stay alone in the house."

There was another moment of silence at the other end for a while, then Joey said, "Alright Yami. Pack up what ya need, Mai and I are comin' over in fifteen minutes."

"Thank you Joey," he said with a dejected little smile. He then placed the phone carefully in its holder. "C'mon. Yami will go spend the night with Yugi…"

He placed a few of his belongings in a bag. He made sure to put his medicine in the bag, as well as his favorite shower gel and his brush and comb. He took the plain, crimson-colored pajamas, instead of the blue one with white sheep on it, because Joey always plucked the sheep off them and ate them. Evil Joey…teasing Yami like that!

He went out of the house, carrying the bag on his back, Piika perched in his hair and Chuu resting in his arms, as he sat down at the stairs, waiting for Joey and Mai to arrive. His mind was oddly blank. He was going to speak to Dr. Muraki about it. Dr. Muraki told him…whenever something strange happened to him, or if something confused him, he should call Dr. Muraki.

Joey and Mai arrived a few minutes after he had sat down on the stairs. Yami glanced at their joined hands and he suddenly felt himself starting to breathe heavily, heart thudding too quickly and too painfully for comfort. His throat felt funny, as though something was inside it blocking it. He closed his eyes briefly, a sudden thought coming to his mind…

"_Don't hold my hand!"_

"_Are you mad at me?" Seto asked, a sheepish smile on his face as he walked behind him, hovering over his shoulder._

"_No, Seto! I don't want your work to be threatened if someone sees us holding hands," he harshly snapped, crossing his arms, not allowing Seto to grab hold of any of his two hands._

_Instead of doing that, Seto wrapped both arms around him from the back kissed his cheek quickly._

"_Seto!" he admonished with a screech, glancing around to see if anyone saw them._

_Seto smiled gently at him and leaned down, silencing any protest he had, with a tender kiss that stole his breath away. When he drew back, he placed his mouth beside his ear and whispered, "No one's around who will recognize us…and even if they did…I don't care."_

"Yami? Yami… are you okay?"

Yami blinked and his eyes focused onto a pair of concerned hazel ones. He stared at them in confusion for a while, before getting distracted when Mai picked Piika up and stood back as Joey took the bag from him. They were both staring at him in concern.

"Yami is okay…" he whispered, getting up and starting to walk towards the Mansion's exit.

* * *

"Does Seto know you're coming here?" Yugi asked, walking into the living room carrying a mug of hot, steaming chocolate. He sat down beside Yami on the couch and placed the beverage on the coffee table, before casting a sideways glance at his Dark, who was completely silent, staring off into space.

Finally, Yami showed signs of life other than the rise and fall of his chest, and he shifted slightly, mumbling, "Seto doesn't know."

Yugi nodded once, slowly, letting the words and the entire situation, sink in. they stayed in utter silence for many minutes, then Yugi moved, stretching to reach the phone. He picked it up from its holder and started dialing Seto's number.

Yami listened, detached from everything going on around him, as Yugi spoke to someone over the phone. It wasn't Seto, because Yugi asked whoever it was to deliver a message to him as soon as possible, saying that Yami was with him.

After hanging up, the silence returned.

"Yami?"

"Hmm…?"

Yugi blinked in surprise. This was…scarily strange.

"Are you alright?"

Yami didn't answer him at all. He shifted slightly on the couch, so that his head was on arm of the piece of furniture, stretching his leg so he was lying down. He stared off into space, ignoring Yugi completely. He didn't answer, he didn't move, he didn't acknowledge anyone or anything at all. Even Piika and Chuu, when they sat, one by his feet and the other on his stomach, respectively, couldn't grasp his attention.

Eventually, he fell asleep like that, making Yugi's insides churn rather uncomfortably with worry.

Just what was going on?

* * *

Seto got out of his office, cursing meetings and advertising campaigns and launching new products and KaibaCorp itself. He was so tired. It seemed everything was suddenly demanding his attention all at once. If it wasn't for the unexpected source of help he received from Kisara, when she offered to help out with some of the minor tasks, he would have been inside his office still.

Speaking of Kisara…

"Mr. Kaiba…" she smiled at him widely as he walked out of the office. He gave a tight, tired little smile in response, so she asked, "Are you done for tonight?"

"Umm…yes, that's all to it for today. Thank you for your help," he said, wanting to just go home and sleep. He was grateful to her, for all the help she offered and what she managed to prevent especially in the past few months. But really, he was so exhausted, he just wanted to go home.

"You got a few messages when you were in the meeting at 4. A message from the regional manager of the USA branch. He said he would be sending a report of all the company's progress, sometime next week." Kisara walked beside him, her heels making delicate little sounds with each step, providing background music to her words as she resumed, "You also got a message from Mr. Carter, he would like to meet you and discuss the deal between KaibaCorp and his retail stores. Then there was a message from…"

"Did Yami call?" he asked, interrupting her as he fished around in his pocket for his keys.

He missed the flash of anger in her gorgeous lilac eyes. She answered, "No, Mr. Kaiba. Does he know how to use a phone?"

Seto stopped and stared at her in silent wrath, telling her silently that she was overstepping her boundaries. She was amazing. Really, he had to admit that. She was smart and funny and beautiful. He was starting to seriously consider making her his personal assistant, even if he never had one in his entire life. But now? Now she was just being rude and she had to be put in her place.

"What? What did I say?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, bewildered.

"Yami is not stupid, Kisara. Okay?" he snapped. He was about to continue walking away, when his cell phone started ringing suddenly. He took it out, glancing at the caller ID, seeing Mokuba's name, "Yeah, Mokuba…" he answered, unlocking his car.

"Seto, Yami's not at home. Is he with you?"

He felt his heart making a rather unpleasant journey up to his throat, before falling back into position once more, as he asked, "No he's not…"

Mokuba went silent for a little bit on the other end. "I'll call Yugi," he finally said, and a second later, Seto heard the dial tone, indicating that Mokuba hung up on him.

"Is something wrong?" Kisara asked, eyes questioning.

"Yami's not at home. I'll go to his brother's place to see if he had gone there," Seto said urgently, getting inside his car.

"Can I come with you?" she asked, hopeful.

He didn't have time to argue. And she would have argued with him until he caved in and let her come along. She was obviously very skilled at debating and he was tired and worried and wasn't in the mood for this.

"Alright, get inside," he said, bringing the car to life just as she hopped in, putting her seatbelt on.

He started driving, breaking several speed restrictions as he tried to make it to the Game Shop as soon as he could.

As he stopped at a red light, his phone started ringing again. He answered it, after seeing that Mokuba was the caller. On the other end, his brother sounded relieved as he said, "Called Yugi. Yami had called Joey and told him to come over to take him to Yugi's place. That's where he is now."

"Why didn't he say something?" Seto demanded as he started driving once again the moment the red lights turned green.

"Yugi said he left a message."

Seto's eyes narrowed a little and he cast a hasty glance at Kisara, to find that she was staring at him with genuine worry. _No…it couldn't be her_, he thought. He had left his phone with two people today. Kisara, during the interview he was having from 12:00PM to 01:00PM and the other time when he had a meeting with the Board from 04:00PM to 06:00PM. His secretary had his phone from the time he arrived at work, at seven, and she gave it back to him at nine in the evening, when she left. It must have been her…

"Yugi wants him to spend a few days with him," Mokuba's sentence pulled Seto out his thoughts.

"What…?" he asked, affronted as he pulled up in front of the Game Shop.

He heard Mokuba sighing, "Look, Seto…maybe it's for the best. Just let Yami stay there for a couple of days. You are a little busy after all. He spends the whole da…"

Seto interrupted him angrily, "No!"

"But Seto…"

"I am hanging up, Mokuba. Goodbye."

Mokuba was saying that he was doing a lousy job, taking care of Yami. Somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew it was true. Somewhere back there, he was reprimanding himself very harshly for his carelessness. But on the forefront, something else was going on in his mind. How dare anyone say that he wasn't paying attention to Yami? Did they know how much he loved…no, loves him? And how come Yami suddenly decided to leave so suddenly? What was he thinking!

Walking into the Game Shop after Yugi opened the door for him, he was vaguely aware that Kisara had followed. It was fine, judging by the way Yugi cast an indifferent glance her way, before ignoring her to stare up at Seto, asking, "You didn't get my message?"

Seto shook his head, "Where's Yami?"

"How come you didn't get my message?" Yugi asked, raising an eyebrow sternly and ignoring the question.

"I don't know. When did you call?" he asked, wanting to confirm who exactly let it slip past them to inform him that Yugi left him a message.

"That doesn't matter!" Yugi snapped angrily.

Seto raised his eyebrow rather stubbornly, "We're not having this discussion right now. where is Yami?"

Yugi glared at him, before starting to march away towards the living room. Seto followed, stepping inside the living room to finally find Yami. He was sleeping on the couch, his kittens curled up beside him.

Seto didn't wait one second, before walking over to the couch, intent on waking Yami up and taking him home where he would spoil him rotten to compensate for the past two months' worth of being a total moron.

"Are you really gonna do what I think you're gonna do?" Yugi's demanding tone made him halt just when he was about to touch Yami.

He scowled, "I'm waking him up so I can take him home."

"No, no you are not waking him up!" Yugi hissed at him, looking livid. "He's already here; he's slept for the entire day. He's obviously exhausted, trying to make sense of why you are acting like that. I'd like him to stay here at least for tonight."

"Well, I'm sorry I got held back by work," Seto defensively snapped back, sitting on the edge of the couch, beside Yami. "Just…stay out of it," he added, the back of his hand brushing Yami's cheek gently, as he whispered, while leaning a bit closer to his sleeping lover, "Yami… Baby, wake up…"

It never seemed to fail. Those were the words he always used. Even before Yami got into the hospital a while ago, he used to call Yami his 'Baby' and ask him to wake up and Yami would immediately wake up. It amused him morbidly that it still worked. Yami stirred ever-so-slightly and his eyes opened. He blinked, confused for a moment, before frowning, "What is…What is Seto doing here?"

Seto shifted slightly, pulling Yami upright by snaking an arm underneath him and raising him to sitting position. "I'm here to take you home with me. Won't be able to sleep if you aren't there, remember?"

Yami frowned slightly, then, to Seto's dismay, he pulled back a little. He looked away, gathering his little kittens in his arms, and mumbling, "Whatever Seto wants…"

Seto sat back, looking at Yami in silence, not knowing what to say right now. Yami's words implied so many things right now and none of them sounded remotely pleasant.

"Seto, we're having a word in the kitchen. Now," he heard Yugi sternly demanding, the sound of his footsteps indicating that there shouldn't be any arguments about this.

"Wait here for a second," Seto mumbled, patting Yami on the hair gently, before getting up to follow Yugi.

The younger boy was leaning against the unit of cupboards, arms crossed. "Let him stay tonight," he said.

"Yugi…" Seto started, exasperated.

"Look! Did you even listen to what he just said out there? Do you have any idea what he looked like when Joey and Mai brought him here? I asked him if he was okay and he didn't even bother to answer. I understand why he chose to ignore me, because even if he isn't completely alright mentally right now, he knows that it's a stupid question. Of course he isn't alright. For God's sake, when was the last time you spent one whole hour with him? Do you have any idea what it is doing to him right now?"

Seto was aware that Yugi was lecturing him.

"He will come back with me tonight, Yugi." He simply said that in response.

"If you think you are taking care of him so perfectly…why don't you ask him what he wants?" Yugi countered, raising an eyebrow. Seto stared at him in silence for a few moments, so the boy resumed, "Really…ask him. Ask him if he wants to stay here tonight or go back with you and I promise that if he wants to go back to the Mansion with you, no one will stop you from taking him out of here."

_But if he says he wants to stay here_, Seto thought with dread, somehow knowing what Yami's answer will be…

* * *

When Seto and Yugi left the room, Yami felt that someone else was in the room. He looked up, before freezing completely in anxiety, pulling his pets closer to him, when he saw that blue-haired girl staring at him with a cold expression in her lilac eyes.

He immediately looked down, busying himself with Piika and Chuu who were trying to go back to sleep. However, a second later, the girl sat down in the armchair, delicately crossing her legs and staring at him with a predatory look in her eyes, a sickly-sweet smile on her features.

"So you're Yami?" she asked.

He nodded carefully…

"I see now…" she said with a nod, a sinister look on her pretty features.

"See…what?" he asked, curious.

"I see what Seto meant, when he said that you looked good, before you got yourself into deep shit and became crazy," she replied with a sympathetic little grin.

He didn't think he felt as pained as he was right now, ever before. It was such a horrible feeling, as though something so bad was happening inside his chest. That was not true. Seto wouldn't say such a thing…

"Seto won't say that…" he remarked quietly, feeling himself curling up into a tinier ball, taking very little comfort in the warmth and light weight of the kittens that went to sleep.

"Well, he did…I told him maybe he should place you in an asylum or something. You know, the place where professionals can take care of people like…you," she said with a dead-serious voice. He felt himself turning ice-cold with every word she said. The prickling at the corners of his eyes returned again, as she resumed, "Really Yami…you never noticed how much you are putting him in trouble? Seto is a successful, handsome young man. He could have anyone by his side, but instead, he's stuck beside a scarred, mentally-retarded person like you… don't you think he doesn't like that?"

"Stop it…stop it!" he murmured, looking down, burying his face in his knees, just so he could avoid looking at her cold, truthful lilac eyes…

Was it true? Did Seto really want him to go away…? It must be true. It must be. He had thought of it. Very seriously, as well. after what he did in that party thing Seto held at home –the Mansion, he corrected himself bitterly—he had thought of it so hard, until he got a bad headache.

At that moment, he heard Seto walking into the living room once again. He looked up, avoiding the girl's eyes. Seto looked…angry. Yami couldn't help but start backing away into the corner, trying to avoid that anger…

"Yami, do you want to come back with me, or stay here?" he asked, looking annoyed.

Yami, unconsciously, let his gaze drift over to the girl sitting across from him. She raised an eyebrow, then looked away. Yami looked back at Seto once again…

Seto didn't want him to go back with him.

"I…" he started, feeling as though he was about to cry any second now. He noticed the impatient way with which Seto was tapping his foot on the carpet, so he resumed, with what he thought Seto wanted to hear, "Stay here…"

"Fine!" Seto snapped, getting up to tread in anger towards the door. "Kisara, come," he called when he was at the front door.

The girl got up, giving Yami a little, sympathetic grin, then nodded at Yugi who sat by Yami's side as he buried his face into the back of the couch.

Yami heard the door closing behind the girl, who Seto called Kisara, and he started crying. She was right. Seto didn't even say goodnight. He didn't give him a kiss and he didn't bother to look back. The moment he, Yami, said he wanted to stay here, Seto looked as though he got the answer he was waiting for.

* * *

A/N: there you go… thank you for reading.

Hathor…


	6. Chapter 6

**Yours To Hold**

**Chapter Six**

At any other time, he would have refused the offer. The moment Kisara gently placed a hand on his arm and asked him to go upstairs to have a glass of water to cool off before he drove once again, he should have said no. But he didn't. Perhaps he was too beyond caring to think of what was going on, but he simply couldn't see himself doing anything else. Perhaps at any other time, he would have thought that the right thing to do was simply refuse then turning around to go back to the Game Shop to speak to Yami. But he was in the now and here and now and here he could only stare ahead of him in silence, feeling the warmth of the small, slender hand on his arm, seeping through the clothes he was wearing, and onto his skin. Then, he removed the keys from the ignition and opened the door.

Seto thought that the wounded feeling that was raging through him was unlike anything he ever felt before in his entire life. Somehow…it felt like Yami had betrayed him, with what he said. Had he and Yugi been discussing this? Was Mokuba also in this with them? No, that couldn't…

"Here… c'mon," he heard Kisara saying, pushing a glass of water into his hands. He took it, giving her a brief look, seeing her smiling encouragingly. That smile that made her entire face light up.

He didn't realize that the brief look had turned into a long, silent, observant stare into the beautiful features.

Her smile widened and he was aware that she took a step closer to him…standing close enough for him to catch the mesmerizing smell of wild roses that she gave off…

* * *

Yugi hadn't slept yet…

Yami knew who was to blame for that. He was the one at fault. Yugi was worried about him. Yugi wouldn't leave him alone like this to go to sleep. Actually, Yugi wouldn't be able to sleep at all, because he was such a baby and was crying nonstop. Yami told him to leave him down there in the living room and go to sleep, but Yugi didn't agree of course. He sat beside him on the couch, trying to get him to stop crying or at least talk… but he didn't want to talk.

He just felt like staying in that corner until…well, he didn't know until what. Until he couldn't remember what just happened anymore.

Kisara had been right. How could he have been so stupid? How come he never noticed…never saw what Seto's real feelings were? He didn't know what hurt more; the fact that he was told so many nasty things by Kisara, or the fact that Seto confided in her, or Seto's feelings, or the way he completely failed to notice that he was such an annoying, unwanted burden that Seto couldn't deal with…

It was true…

* * *

The moment the soft, strange lips touched his, he wasn't thinking of what he was doing and he wasn't thinking of what he might have done at any other time. He could only use his mind far enough to think of how soft those lips were. How much they tasted so sweet and how much that pliant tongue was shyly caressing his own plundering one.

He felt one of Kisara's hands rising to his neck, to gently wrap around it as she tilted her head to the side to allow him to deepen the kiss as he pleased. His own hand was rising, on its way up to her hair caressing the soft flesh on her arms and shoulders.

When they broke away for breath, she was smiling that gentle smile of hers. It soothed the hurt he had been feeling and when she started backing away, towards the hallway that led inside the apartment to the bedrooms, he found himself following her, mesmerized by her beautiful lilac eyes.

He vaguely noticed that her hands were fiddling with his shirt's buttons, getting them undone as quickly as possible.

* * *

Seto told him he didn't care about the scars and the way he now looked…hideous. Seto told him he didn't care about anything and that he loved him no matter what. Seto told him he was still…pretty. Yami still didn't know what it was that put him in the hospital when he woke up with all those scars. He knew it had something to do with the evil people he saw in his sleep…or with the nasty laughs he heard whenever he blacked out so suddenly… but other than that, it was a little –a lot—confusing. He knew it was something bad. But Seto made him promise not to upset himself thinking that he no longer loved him.

What changed? Did he become too annoying? Did he finally make Seto hate him when he gave him extra work to do at KaibaCorp? Couldn't Seto stand seeing the scars he still had on his thigh and stomach and the one that ran all the way from his side up to his neck? Did he finally realize that he was disgusted by the scars on his back?

Did Seto like Kisara more than he liked him?

* * *

The journey from the living room and to the bedroom was a blur. He only became suddenly aware that he was leaning over Kisara's slender, beautiful body. His hands were unbuttoning the brown, silk shirt she had been wearing above the skirt.

At that moment, he was comparing the soft, feminine curves and pale skin to someone else's body. The skin was so pale compared to what he knew and the flesh was so much softer and tenderer than what he had felt before. The sweet scent was different, this one was of wild roses, but the one he knew was of fresh mandarins.

It was different, he thought…

The soft, sweet lips from before were glued to his once more, after all garments standing between his body and hers were shed. He felt a slender leg entwining with one of his own, the soft feel of it against his skin making the fervor firing through his flesh increase in intensity…

* * *

Yami sobbed and clenched his eyes shut tighter, burying his face into the back of the couch. Yes…Kisara was so beautiful. She was _so beautiful_. Seto deserved her. Seto was such a good person. He deserved someone so beautiful. Perhaps, one day, he had deserved Seto. But now?

"_He said that you looked good, before you got yourself into deep shit and became crazy."_

Now… now he didn't look good anymore. Because he got himself into 'deep shit' –shit was a bad word—and now became crazy…

"Yami…just go to sleep. Stop thinking about it and go to sleep," Yugi's soft voice made him realize that he was short of breath. He started, taking a breath suddenly, looking at Yugi with a confused look. "Please…it's a little after six in the morning…can you see the sun rising?"

Yami looked at the window, indeed seeing the light coming from outside. He turned back to Yugi, blinking miserably at him, but not saying anything at all.

"Yami…? At least lie down in bed…please," Yugi sounded as though he was about to cry himself. Maybe he was crying. Yami couldn't see very properly, because he couldn't stop crying and because his eyes were all big and swollen from that. "You must be so tired…please, just lie down for a while. You haven't stopped crying since yesterday and you know that's not good for you… you should eat something and take some sleep."

Yami kept staring at him for a while longer. "Yami wants to…" he paused, scared of why he suddenly wanted what he was about to ask for. "I want to take a shower…first…"

* * *

It was so different, on so many levels; he couldn't even start counting the dissimilarities. His fingers weren't tangling in short locks of soft, multi-colored hair, but in long, streaming strands of blue-white hair. The half-lidded eyes staring at him were not dark, crimson ones, but lilac ones, with the pupils dilated until the soft color was barely seen at the edges… the body beneath him was softer…more curvy and less bony. The voice moaning incoherently wasn't…familiar…

It was so wrong…

But he wasn't thinking of that. No…he wasn't thinking at all… his hips were thrusting instinctively towards the tight, slick heat of the pliable body beneath him, not considering that even in that feeling, there were so many differences…

His restraint was breaking and the hurt he felt tonight, all of it, seemed to be coming out and leaving him alone with every surge of pleasure rushing through his body. He reached down, wanting to bring Yami to his completion the same moment he did, but his eyes snapped open in alarm when he found a completely different anatomy before him…a completely different person.

The shock didn't stop him from being a gentle lover…he forced his hand to continue its journey southwards, tenderly touching and caressing the beautiful, pale body beneath him, forcing another wave of intense pleasure to rush over the girl, making her tighten her body around his own, forcing him over the edge with a hoarse sound that cried out his real lover's name…

He felt tears coursing down his face in horror…what had he done?

* * *

Yugi blinked and sat back a little. "Erm…are you sure it's a good idea, when you're so…"

"Yami wants to take a shower!" Yami snapped at him, startling Piika and Chuu into awareness.

Silence was the only thing heard for a few moments, before Yugi sighed, "Alright, Yami…c'mon, follow me upstairs and when you come out, you're having something to eat then you're going straight to bed…"

"'Kay…" Yami said, placing his two kittens beside each other on the couch so they could carry on sleeping. He got up on unsteady feet, half-stumbling behind Yugi and upstairs. He made up his mind. It was worth a try, wasn't it? He was going to try and become pretty again…for Seto.

* * *

It was a beautiful, beautiful day, Mai decided…

The first indication she had of that simple fact was the way she did not have to struggle to wake up at seven in the morning. She had slept early last night, so, as she slid her amethyst open today morning, she felt like smiling. Usually, she woke up at around nine or ten, struggling. But today, she was up and about earlier than usual, with twice as much energy.

So, smiling, she got up, stretching on her way to the bathroom. She shed her nightgown on the floor where she stood and got into the shower, murmuring happily under her breath as she let the warm water trickle through the thick, blonde locks of her hair and down her body. She felt good. She was happy… like she didn't have a care in the world.

It was sappy, yes, she knew that, but…she was in love. That was surely enough to make her feel so good. She was going to go out with Joey today evening. Just perfect…

She got out of the shower and got dressed in a pair of slim-fitting jeans and a white t-shirt, pulling her hair up into a ponytail after drying it. She applied her soft, light make-up in place and then whirled around to go into the kitchen, where she made coffee and stood eating a slice of toast while waiting for it to percolate.

When she was pouring it out into the mug, she heard her cell phone ringing from where it still rested on her bedroom's nightstand. She had kept it there after she hung up with Joey before sleeping. She answered with a grin, when she saw Joey's name flashing on the screen.

"Did I wake ya?" he asked with a tone that just made her picture the apologetic look on his face.

"Nah, you didn't. I woke up half an hour ago," she said, walking back into the kitchen. "Why are _you_ up so early?" she added with a grin.

"Yugi called me…"

"Aha…and?" she said carefully, suddenly feeling apprehensive.

"Kaiba came by last night and…err… he and Yami sort of…well, it's difficult to explain, but result is that Yami didn' sleep the whole night and…err… today morning, he…he tried to…" Joey trailed off for a moment, as though unsure of how to place it.

"Tried to what?" she insisted, feeling cold suddenly, that perhaps Yami tried to kill himself or something.

"He had a few scars left over from wha' happened a while back and…he tried to… erm…kinda scrub them off in the shower."

The words took time to register. But when they did, she felt bile rising to her throat at them, "He WHAT?"

"Look, calm down, alright? He's okay. Badly scratched and crying but he's okay…" Joey hastily said.

"What made him do such a thing? Did Kaiba say anything to him?" she asked with a frown, putting her shoes on and drinking the rest of her coffee as she listened to Joey explaining that Seto asked Yami if he would rather stay with Yugi or go back to the Mansion with him, and Yami said he'd rather stay.

"So Kaiba left without even saying goodbye…" she completed for him with a displeased curl on her lips.

"I dunno, Mai…I think there's…more to it…" Joey hesitantly murmured.

"What makes you say that?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Joey went silent for a few moments, before sighing, "Yami's got these scars for a while now. He and Kaiba had troubles when Yami first got outta the hospital…they used to fight and all…but Yami never tried doin' somethin' like that before… what made him do it tonight?"

Mai thoughtfully stared at the corner of the marble breakfast counter. Joey's words made sense.

"I'm going over to Yugi's…wanna come with me?" she heard Joey asking after a while of silence.

"Yeah, I'll try and speak to Yami…"

* * *

"He's sleeping," Yugi sighed rubbing his eyes tiredly when Mai asked him where Yami was.

"Upstairs?" she asked. He nodded. "Can I go up to see him?"

"Erm…he's really upset, though…don't be mad if he…"

"I won't be," she said with a gentle smile. She left him and Joey in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea. She went upstairs and very quietly opened the door, trying not to wake Yami up if he was really asleep.

It turned out that he wasn't. His large, crimson eyes turned to the door the moment she walked in through it. He was looking at her with a forlorn expression in them, as she walked closer and dragged the desk's chair nearer to the bed, so she could sit on it.

She smiled and tilted her head sideways a little. "Can I sit with you?"

He kept staring at her for a while longer, before averting his eyes away from hers, fixing them on the edge of the bed. He didn't say anything else, literally ignoring her, the way he was ignoring Piika and Chuu who were trying to get him to respond, by pawing at him and mewling. For now, she let it go and turned her attention to the two kittens who trudged over the comforter and Yami's curled up body, so they could travel to the edge of the bed where she picked both of them up.

"Hey you two," she said in a friendly, adoring tone, scratching them under the chin gently. "Did you two have breakfast yet?" they mewed at her in response, little pink tongues darting out to lick their noses and at her fingers. "I guess it's a no, then," she said, getting up to walk towards the duffel resting in the corner of the room. "Yami, their food is in there, right?" she asked, glancing at Yami, seeing him nod.

She poured a bit of the cat-food into the two bowls inside the bag, setting the two kittens down before them so they could start eating. She then walked back to the chair and sat down. Yami's eyes got fixed on the edge of the bed again. She was at a loss as to what exactly she could say to start discussing all this, so she searched with her eyes for evidence of what Joey told her Yami did today morning.

She easily found it. On his arm first. An inch or two below Yami's elbow. It was a large, angry-looking red patch. Patches of the thicker, dead skin at the surface seemed to be peeled off, leaving behind the tenderer, moist layer, where the clear, transparent fluid was making a protective layer.

She swallowed nervously, unable to imagine how hard Yami scrubbed his skin to peel it off like that. She forced herself to look away from that area when she saw a similar injury on Yami's neck and disappearing beneath the pajama top.

"What happened?" she asked, pointing at his arm. It was worth a shot.

He looked at her, then at his arm, before looking away. She thought he was going to ignore her again, but he spoke in a soft voice suddenly. "There was a mark…I wanted to remove it."

She grinned empathetically. "It won't get removed that way, you know."

He shot her an angry glare.

"Sorry… but…err, why would you want to remove it, Yami? It makes you look sexy," she jokingly said, hoping he would give her an explanation.

"Because it's ugly…" he whispered. She once again thought he was about to stop speaking with that, but he added, "Makes me look ugly…Seto doesn't like it."

_Shit_, she thought. If Kaiba was the one to say that to Yami, then Mai wanted to have a little chat with the brunet. One where he won't come out in one piece. "What makes you think that…?"

"Kisara said so…"

She raised an eyebrow…

"Kisara…?" she asked carefully. Who was that? Something wasn't…right.

Yami nodded and it was all she could do not to rush to hug him when he started crying brokenly, little hiccups and sobs breaking his already broken sentences, as he fervently explained who she was. That she was the girl Seto now liked more than he liked him. That she was the girl who Seto told that he didn't want to be with Yami anymore because he was ugly and crazy. The beautiful girl who told him the truth that Seto needed someone better.

By the time he was done, Mai felt herself getting a headache from the anger she felt rising within her. She was a woman and women were sometimes snakes in disguise. Whoever that bitch was, she obviously knew how to play it right. She knew who exactly she should approach to make sure that whatever was between Seto and Yami was screwed beyond repair.

"Well, Yami…you should have told Seto what she told you," Mai said with a nod.

"He didn't…He wouldn't listen to me…he just asked me if I wanted to stay here or go back with him…" Yami cried, sitting up to glare at her from between the tears. "I wanted to go back…I wanted to spend the night at home… but… wasn't that what Seto wanted to hear? That I don't want to be there…?"

She clenched her hands into fists tightly, trying not to go on a bloody hunt for that Kisara's head, and instead asked, "Yami…you know that Kaiba doesn't hide behind excuses like that. He wasn't waiting for you to say that you wanted to stay here, so he could break up with you, or whatever. If he didn't want you around, he would have kicked you out of the Mansion without a second thought. And let me ask you…it has been…a year and a half since you got out of the hospital, right?"

He nodded, blinking a few tears away.

"Well, if he had been faking that he loved you…if he had been faking that he cares about you and still wants you beside him…don't you think he would have shown that one time or the other? No one can wear a mask all the time." She was positive that that snake was the one to try and pull Yami and Kaiba apart. And she was trying to bring out that undeniable faith Yami had in the brunet, to make him see that that bitch wasn't saying a word of truth. "If Seto didn't want you anymore, Yami, he would not have gone through the trouble of living with you for near two years now… it just isn't the Kaiba I know…"

"Then…Then why did he…why did he leave yesterday without even saying goodbye…?" Yami asked, even if his sobs subsided and silent tears ran down his face as he became a bit calmer.

"Yugi told him yesterday to ask you if you wanted to stay or leave with him," she calmly told him. Realization dawned into his dull crimson eyes as she resumed, "When you said you'd rather stay, after what that…that Kisara told you, he was angry and hurt that Yugi had been right." He looked away, but not before she saw the expression of guilt overpowering his features. "It's not your fault, Yami…and it's not his. But I do know whose fault it is…" she said the last part with a vicious little hiss.

Silence hung over them for a while. A few minutes later, in which Mai decided that she said all she needed to say to try and make Yami feel better, the doorbell rang. A while later, Yugi opened the door and said, with a displeased expression when he saw that Yami was not asleep, "Yami, Seto's downstairs… do you want to speak to him?"

Yami looked at Mai who gave him a nod and a wink, "Speak to him. Explain what happened yesterday…let him know what that bitch said…"

"That's a bad word…" Yami remarked quietly.

Mai gave him a kiss on the cheek, before grabbing Yugi by the arm, dragging him downstairs.

* * *

A/N: this is the second last chapter ^_^ thank you for reading.

Hathor…


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** last chapter… sorry for the delay :)

**Yours To Hold**

**Chapter Seven**

The voice of conscience was always one that made his life hell…

He had done so many wrong things in his life. He had treated his tutors with disrespect when they gave him extra work that he saw wasn't necessary. He had forced a good man to give up all his fortune to save fellow coworkers. He had hit Mokuba and sold him out in return for the Big 5's trust. He had cheated his way into winning the duel against Yami in Duelist Kingdom…

Every time, that small voice at the back of his mind, made him feel like shit.

But this time, he couldn't possibly describe how crappy he was feeling. He was feeling so bad, that he couldn't even stomach the idea that he was trying to find excuses for what he did. He had rolled off Kisara's soft, beautiful body and sat up on the edge of the bed, not wanting their naked, sweat-slickened bodies to make contact anymore. Not wanting to catch a whiff of her delicate smell which was unlike Yami's familiar one. He had placed his elbows on his knees and buried his face into his hands, mind racing very painfully over what he will tell Yami…

There was nothing he could come up with. He had rushed to the bathroom to make a small offering to the porcelain gods when the idea of telling him that he had been confused and in need of contact, crossed his mind.

By the time he started dry-heaving, after vomiting only bile, he decided that he was most probably the most wretched person tonight.

Things became impossibly worse when he felt Kisara giving him a wet washcloth, followed by a glass of water. She was smiling in understanding, and tying the sash of a silk, golden robe, to cover up herself. He couldn't stand the idea of even looking.

"You okay?" she asked in her soft voice.

He shook his head, "No…"

To his amazement, she didn't slap him, like he expected her to do. She shrugged, turning away to walk out of the bathroom, saying, "Admit it, Seto… it was better than you expected." He stared after her in shocked silence, so she added, "You can't keep yourself tied up to Yami, Seto…just let him go. It's better for him."

Anger and guilt made him seethe. "What gives you the idea you can say that?" he hissed, going out into the room.

"The fact that I am saying it before I get enough time to even take a shower after you made love to me," she said with a smile, brushing her hair from her face.

"I didn't make love to you," Seto yelled; he only made love to Yami! No one else deserved. He didn't love anyone _but_ Yami.

"Okay, fine…after we had sex," she amended sarcastically. He glared at her, so she resumed, "Listen to me and be reasonable. You saw for yourself; he doesn't _want_ to spend time with you anymore. He can feel that you just…can't handle it!"

The words felt as though she grabbed a dagger and drove it through his heart, tearing it apart with one of her charming, amazing smiles plastered on her face. The world was darkening around him with the realization of how…true, her words were. He was doing a nasty job dealing with Yami. First, when he allowed Yami to go home alone that night. Then, the way he treated him like a child, like Yami wasn't the same person with the same needs and feelings like before. Then, forcing him to mingle with all those people at the Annual General Meeting, and making him come in contact with the media…then abandoning him for so long…then now…

"I _can_ handle it!" he tried to yell once again in protest, but his voice only just came out weak and doubtful. Without the conviction he wanted to put behind the words. Was Kisara really right? She must be…otherwise, why did Yami say he didn't want to go home with him, without so much as a blink of an eye?

She got up, walking towards him with the same, understanding look in her eyes that made him so angry, yet so at peace…that perhaps, just perhaps, he wasn't such a bad person for what he just did. She stopped before him and said in a reasoning, gentle voice, "Just let him go…he will be happier if you didn't stick around to remind him of what he had been before now. Just go to him tomorrow or something, and explain to him that you will leave him…"

"What…? No, I wo…"

"Listen to me…it's the right thing to do," she interrupted him, holding his hands and squeezing firmly.

He lifted his head, previously fixed on the ground in uncertainty, so that his blue eyes met a pair of gentle lilac ones. He was vaguely aware that his vision was swimming behind tears that, when he blinked, slid down his face. He was crying…crying was a weakness, wasn't it? When had he lost grip like that? When had his ability to take responsibility of taking care of someone he loved with all his being, diminished?

"Yami will forget after a while…" he shook his head at her words. Yami loved him, he wouldn't forget about him. But her words made sense and she never stopped speaking, "Yes, he will…just like he learnt to adjust on his own and went to his brother's house without telling you. He will forget all about you eventually. You just have to let him go, let him live his life so you can also live yours…"

Yami will forget, sure. But…

"What about…" he stopped. What was he doing? Admitting weakness to an outside party meant he was giving them room to strike at him. No, wrong move. That was what he was taught. He couldn't continue his question, _what about me?_ He knew he would never forget. But Kisara should not know!

To his surprise, though, Kisara smiled at him once more, her hands falling away from his, one of them rising to his cheek to brush it gently, as he she said, "You have me now…"

He didn't think there was a time in his life when he had been as undecided as he was right now. Was he going to do the right thing to let Yami go? Or would he be sealing their fate to complete misery for the remainder of their lives? Was Kisara saying all these things out of good will? Did she observe him and Yami and hence came to realize what he couldn't do? Did she see that he was holding onto Yami, hopelessly waiting for him to return back to how he had been before that damned day? Did she realize what his irrationality did not make him realize? That Yami was safely cocooned behind the mask of childishness, hiding from his assaulters and hiding from the fact that his lover couldn't protect him?

He was still undecided in the morning. He had stayed the night. The questions running through his mind, preventing sleep from claiming him in its blissful unawareness, did not erase the fact that he cheated on Yami and that he spent the night in another person's bed. It didn't help in the least, when his cell phone rang at seven in the morning and Mokuba was yelling at him from the other end.

"Where have you been! Spending the entire night out like that! At least tell me."

Seto didn't answer him. Just mumbled, "Sorry," under his breath.

"How's Yami? Are you with him right now?"

The question stabbed through him worse than any physical pain. "No, Mokuba…Yami's not with me," he answered.

Mokuba went silent on the other end.

And before he could speak once again, Seto resumed, his voice an emotionless monotone as, in his mind, he came to a decision he couldn't come to last night. "I'm coming home to change and go see Yami…"

"Seto where have you be…"

"I am hanging up, Mokuba. Bye…"

And there was a small peep, the call summary, followed by silence. He vaguely noticed as he got up from the couch where he had been sitting for the entire night, after he had refused Kisara's request to come back to her bed, that he had hung up twice on Mokuba in less than one day, using the very same words before doing so. He should feel bad about it but somehow, he was already so damn miserable, that this new source of nuisance didn't make much of a difference to all the wretchedness he was feeling.

While he was getting his suit's blazer buttoned, so he could come back to what resembled professionalism, just in case any stray reporter was hiding in the dark to capture him at a moment of weakness, he heard a soft sound behind him. He knew Kisara was awake, but he didn't move to acknowledge her as he ran his fingers hastily through his hair, trying to comb it into some semblance of neatness.

But she wasn't going to let him go just like that, "You're leaving?" she asked as she went around the breakfast counter of the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

He nodded in a clipped, abrupt way, searching for his keys in his pockets.

"Okay. Are you going to call me?" she asked, before popping some unknown pill into her mouth and downing it with the water.

He paused, halfway to the door. What should he answer her with? What was the correct reply, regardless what he was going to say to Yami was? He slept with her last night. What was he supposed to say now?

"We'll see," he mumbled, opening the door and walking out, not wanting to spend another moment in her presence.

He went back to the Mansion. He headed straight for his bathroom, not answering any of Mokuba's questions. He took a very, very long and thorough shower where he scrubbed his skin raw with hot water and a rough washcloth, trying to get the gentle smell of wild roses off his skin. Once satisfied, he got out and changed, then called his secretary and told her that he wasn't coming in today. He made coffee and sat at the breakfast counter munching automatically, tastelessly at the slice of toast Mokuba pushed towards him.

He was so glad Mokuba did not pressure him any more about things. He didn't even know what to say in reply to all the questions Mokuba could possibly ask him. He didn't know what he was going to say to Yami. How he was going to justify what he did and what he was going to do.

He drained the last sip of his coffee and grabbed his keys once more, telling Mokuba not to worry, while getting inside his car to start driving towards the Game Shop.

Once he got there, he found Yugi speaking to Joey in quiet tones while drinking tea. When he entered, they both stopped talking and looked up and to his worry, he found the clear and undoubted traces of insomnia and its effects, on Yugi's features.

There was a period of prolonged silence, before Yugi asked, rather bitterly, "Did you have a good night's sleep, Kaiba?"

He was sure there was more to it than just a harsh reprimand.

"Where's Yami?" he asked, pointedly ignoring the remark.

"Do you know that he didn't sleep last night? Do you have any idea how much he cried? Do you know what he tried doing today morning in the shower? What gives you the right to come in like that asking where he is!" Yugi snapped, a venomous look in his eyes.

He really didn't need this, he came to that conclusion, a moment before feeling his heart sinking in fear. What _did_ Yami try to do in the shower today morning?

"What…did Yami do?" he voiced his doubts, worried.

"I have half a mind not to tell you," Yugi hissed at him in ager.

At that moment, Joey interfered. "Yuge…" Yugi turned to him, angry, so he added, "Don' do this…just tell him then send him up so they could talk…"

Seto wasn't shy to admit that he was eternally grateful for Joey's intervention. Last thing he needed at the moment was his equivalent-to-brother-in-law to hang him from his ear for what he did.

"Fine!" Yugi snapped, crossing his arms. "Yami didn't sleep for a minute last night. He spent the whole time crying on the couch. He didn't eat for such a long time, I am sure he will fall ill if we didn't get something inside him very soon. And then, when I finally managed to convince him to get something to eat and go to bed, he insisted on taking a shower. Well and good, I thought and took him upstairs so he could clean up. An hour later, and he still wasn't out. I went to check on him, and you know what I found? I found him on the ground of the shower cubicle, scrubbing away at the scars he had on his body until some of them bled…"

It was all Seto could do not to hurl right where he stood. What? _What!_ Yami never, ever hinted that he was shy or uncomfortable about the marks left on his body after he was assaulted. Seto did remember that he shied away a little when they were making love for the very first time after the incident, about…four or five months after it happened. But when he sensed that Seto wasn't repulsed or bothered by them, he had stopped reacting that way. So why now did he…?

At that point, Yugi resumed, shaking his head in desperation, "And do you know what he said? He said that he was getting rid of the scars, because he thought you didn't want him anymore because of them… do you have any idea how much I hated you at that moment?"

Seto had no idea how much he hated himself at hearing Yugi's words. He didn't think he ever felt this deep sense of self-loathing before this very moment. Had he…was he the reason behind this? Obviously, yes, because otherwise why would Yami say such a thing? He must have hinted it somehow…and moreover…to add to all of this, what he was doing last night…

God this was messed up…

"Where…Where is he?" he stuttered, feeling lightheaded. He needed to speak to Yami. What he had originally been planning to say…it all flew out of the window now that Yugi made him realize how dependent Yami was on him. He had been planning to listen to Kisara…he had been planning to 'let Yami go', as Kisara advised him to. But now, as he listened to Yugi saying all that stuff, he realized that Yami doesn't want him to go away, he realized that Yami needed him, he realized that Yami wouldn't just…'forget' him in a little while.

"He's upstairs…wait, I have to ask him first if he wants to see you. I don't want him upset anymore than this," Yugi told him, pouting in anger.

Seto understood, really… after what he did last night. After what he drove Yami into doing when he's in this state. He deserved to stand so miserably downstairs waiting for permission to see his gentle, amazing lover, whom he had betrayed so terribly.

* * *

Piika and Chuu had jumped onto the bed once again the moment Mai and Yugi left the room. Yami welcomed them with open arms, feeling that he was really missing both kitties. His talk with Mai made him feel better. Maybe Seto didn't really mean that he wanted him to stay the night here with Yugi. Maybe Seto really wanted him to stay with him? Maybe Seto didn't think he was ugly, crazy and a burden…? Seto coming to see him surely meant that, didn't it?

He was nervous, though. He knew the feeling. The one he had gotten before his bimonthly visit to the doctor in the hospital, where the old man asked him to take off his top so he can poke at him with this device or that. The feeling that his heart was rising to his throat and the hollowness of his stomach and the sudden urge to go to the bathroom as soon as possible. But why was he so nervous? It was Seto…shouldn't he be feeling at ease, talking to him and all?

He took a deep breath and burrowed a bit more under the covers with his two kitties. He winced when a sharp, burning pain sprang on different areas of his body. But it was worth it, right? He had removed those marks. He couldn't see them anymore. Now all he had to do was sit tight and purse his lips and distract himself from the pain. He had done this before. He had been worse pain than this slight burn. He could handle it, just like he had handled it back when he didn't want Seto to feel worse about seeing him in pain.

Just when he got himself under control, there was a knock on the door. He stared at the door in apprehension, suddenly wanting to put his head on the pillow and sleep Seto's visit off. He didn't answer and stayed silent, not answering the knock.

"Yami…can I come in?" Seto's voice was tight and worried.

Yami chewed on his lip uncertainly for a moment or two, before mumbling, "Erm…O…Okay…"

The door opened. And Seto walked in. He lingered in the doorway for a little bit, before finally stepping in, taking a long time to close the door, leaning against it for a few moments, before finally deciding to turn around to face him.

Yami found his hand rising up and he started chewing on his thumb nervously at the tired, blank look on Seto's face as the brunet watched him with silence. He looked down, as Piika mewed and nuzzled his chest, making the burning pain on his skin increase to a dull, painful throb. He bit his lip and focused on appearing as normal as possible.

He heard footsteps, soft ones, before the bed dipped slightly. He raised his head, eyes fixed onto Seto's clear, tired blue ones. "H…Hi," he muttered in a soft voice, feeling the need to start some conversation or the other.

"Hey Yami," Seto said, staring at him.

Yami fidgeted for a little while, unsure of what he should say now.

"Can Seto take Yami home now…?" he asked. He was puzzled to see Seto closing his eyes and turning away for a few moments. "If Seto is busy now, then it's okay…Yami will wait here…but when will Seto take Yami home?" he hastily added. Of course, Seto is busy. How could he ask him such a thing? Stupid.

"Yami, I…" Seto started, before trailing off.

Did Seto forget what he was going to say? _Must be that_, Yami thought when Seto's silence extended for a long while. "Yami wants to tell Seto something…" he said instead, remembering that Mai told him that it would be best if he spoke to Seto about that…that Kisara.

Seto's eyes focused on him again, this time a bit brighter than before, "O…Oh…? What is it?"

Yami shifted, so that he wasn't lying against the headboard anymore and he crawled closer to Seto, curling up by his side. He leaned his head against Seto's shoulder and mumbled, "Yami missed Seto…" he then paused for a bit, a while of silence washing over them for a few moments, before he hastily added, "But that is not what Yami wanted to tell Seto…"

"Why don't you first start telling me how you got this…?" Seto interrupted, taking his arm and pulling it out, pointing at the mark on the otherwise soft skin. Yami winced slightly when he felt the painful tug on the hurt flesh.

He went silent for a while, feeling that annoying prickle at the corners of his eyes, return once again. He did not want to cry. His eyes hurt from doing so and besides, Seto got so upset whenever he cried. He blinked once, clearing his vision from the watery film above them, then said, "Who is that…Kisara…?"

He felt Seto's hands tightening on him ever-so-slightly, so he looked up at him, needing to know the answer.

"She is…my media advisor. And now she is some sort of an…assistant," Seto explained.

Yami did not understand him. "What does she do?"

"She…well, she told me what to say and do a month ago so that the media doesn't…bother us anymore. And now she is helping out with some work at KaibaCorp…"

Yami nodded and kept his head down on Seto's shoulder, quietly mumbling, "Kisara spoke to Yami yesterday."

"She…She did?" Seto seemed surprised. "What did she tell you?"

"She said… she said that she understood…what Seto meant when he said that Yami was good-looking, before he went and got himself into a lot of…" he then paused, feeling his cheeks redden and whispered, "_shit_," then he hastily carried on in his normal tone of voice, "and became crazy…" he kept his eyes down, and closed them too, not wanting to see how Seto was going to react to this and whether he really said that or not. "Did…Did Seto really say those things…?" he asked timidly.

A few seconds passed in silence, in which Yami felt his heart thudding so quickly in his chest, almost as quickly as Piika's or Chuu's heart went when they played. Then, Seto answered him.

"No, Yami. I never said those things and will never say them," Yami felt himself calming down a lot at hearing that and at feeling Seto's hold tightening on him slightly, reassuring him. "Can you tell me what else she told you?"

Yami looked up at Seto, sat back a little, then proceeded to tell him everything else Kisara told him, starting from her suggestion of placing him in an 'asylum' up to the part where she told him he was scarred and mentally-retarded…

By the time he was done, Seto's eyes were closed, anger evident on his features, as well as another expression that made Yami's insides churn and twist in worry.

"So yesterday, when Seto asked Yami if Yami wanted to stay or go home…Yami…thought Seto did not want him around…so Yami stayed here," he concluded, sentences breaking in several places as he hesitated. Did he upset Seto? Yes, he must have. When Seto's silence stayed for too long, Yami reached for his hand, trying to see if he was allowed to touch or not, but then Seto sat back, turning away from him slightly. Yami's heart sank and he mumbled, almost in tears, "Is Seto mad at Yami…? If Seto really doesn't want Yami around, then Yami will st…"

He stopped talking abruptly when Seto turned to him again and raised a hand to place it on his mouth. Yami stared down at it for a little bit, before lifting his eyes to meet Seto's pained, bright blue ones, questioning him what the matter was.

"I need…to tell you something, too…" Seto told him, looking nervous.

"Okay…Seto can tell Yami anything," Yami assured, nodding. That was an agreement they came to a while ago. Seto could tell Yami anything and Yami will listen. If he couldn't offer a solution, then Yami will be there to listen…

"Yesterday, after I left…I…err…I went to Kisara's house," Seto started, looking more and more uncomfortable with every word he said.

Yami stared at him blankly, not letting the confusion and hurt seep onto his face. Yes, it hurt. To know that Seto left him all alone last night, without even so much as a goodnight or a kiss, only to go to Kisara's house…yes, it definitely hurt even more than the redness on his skin that was burning furiously right now. But he said he would listen. He must listen.

"She offered a glass of water and…Yami I…" Yami did not know why Seto's sentences were breaking even more than his own usually did. He was wondering about that during the long pause in Seto's speech, where the brunet was looking at their hands, now clutching one another. However, every single insignificant thought he had on his mind stopped and he stared with a blank expression at Seto when he added, "Yami, I slept with her…"

There was utter silence for a few moments…

"Was Seto _so_ tired…that he slept at Kisara's house…?" Yami asked, confused.

"No Yami!" Seto snapped and Yami found himself flinching at the harsh tone of voice. He didn't understand; what did that mean? He was about to ask, before Seto started explaining, "I mean… that we slept together…"

"How?" he asked, blank, since Seto's explanation didn't really 'explain' anything. He kept staring at Seto's guilty expressions for a while, his mind unable to wrap itself around the concept behind reason why Seto would sleep with Kisara. Even if he was absolutely crushed to know that someone else other than himself cuddled close to Seto and wormed their way up his pajamas like he did, he didn't think that that was such a terrible crime that made Seto look so guilty.

However, his mind started taking him down a different path of thinking. He started thinking that perhaps…there was another meaning behind the expression Seto used. Seto used to sleep in another room, in another bed, before they…

His eyes widened in recognition and shock and he stiffened in Seto's hold and started drawing away from him, speechless with the distressed feeling rushing through him at his realization.

"Seto…" he started, voice too low that even he had trouble hearing it. However, a huge, uncomfortable lump formed at the back of his throat, too tight to be ignorable, making him cut his words in half and stare at the brunet in shock. When he found his voice once more, he couldn't help but seek more clarification, "Seto…held her and Seto kissed her and Seto touched her, the way Seto held Yami…and kissed Yami and…and touched Yami?"

He knew Seto was going to say no. Seto _must_ say no. There was no way this could be true… it had to be a horrible lie.

However, to his horror, he found Seto nodding slowly, eyes fixed on the floor, not meeting his.

His hand rose on its own accord to his mouth, so he could cover it in order to prevent the sob that felt like escaping him. He felt so horrible. Why? Why would Seto do that? Did Seto really think that Yami wasn't…worthy of sleeping with him? Like Kisara said?

Maybe it was true. Maybe Seto really thought he wasn't enough, or good enough, anymore.

Okay. So if that was the case, as hurtful as it is actually, Yami had to think the way Seto did about this. If he allowed his selfishness to get involved, then problems would arise. No, he had to be considerate.

Seto needed someone beautiful. Yami was not beautiful anymore, so Seto needed to find someone else. But does that mean that Seto no longer loved Yami? Perhaps he still did. Yes, actually. Seto still loved Yami, but needed Kisara so he could sleep with her. That is why Seto came here today to tell him what happened. Okay, Yami can still handle that, even if it hurt his chest and made it feel so funny and made him cry even more. But no, Seto needed this. He was not going to be selfish and make a big scene out of it.

All he had to do now, was to tell Seto that.

"It's…Its okay…Yami understands…" he mumbled, eyes closed, arm raised to blindly wipe the wetness on his face. He forced himself to smile and scooted closer to Seto, holding onto his arm. "I really, really understand…"

"You understand _what_, exactly?" Seto asked, sounding upset and terse. "I don't expect you to understand…hell, Yami, I don't _want_ you to understand!"

"Do you still love me…?" Yami asked him quietly.

At that, Seto looked up to stare him in the eyes and said, "Yes."

"But…you want to sleep with Kisara…and not with…me anymore," he stated, retelling what he understood from this whole situation.

"No!" Seto quickly said. Yami stared at him in confusion, so he added, "I do not want to sleep with her. I don't even _like_ her!"

"Then why did you do it?" Yami asked, completely mixed up now. Seto didn't answer him, and only let his gaze fall to the floor again. Yami kept staring at him, waiting for an answer, before a thought occurred to him. He sat back, staring at a random area of the covers in shock for a while, before looking up at Seto and blurting out, "Okay, I understand now. You still love me. But you don't think you can stay with me anymore because I'm…" he paused, head hanging low when he realized what he just and was just about to say and whispered, "crazy…"

He blinked, then clenched his eyes shut very tightly when he felt the hot, scalding liquid streaming down his face. _No! Don't cry_, he reprimanded himself. But in doing so, he started crying harder, sobs shaking his form as he sat there, everything that he considered beautiful in his world crashing down to worthless ash at his feet. What else, other than crying, could he do in a situation like this? What had he done wrong? What was his fault in all this? He needed to know. Perhaps he could fix it? Perhaps he could stop being crazy and childish and immature and…stupid! Perhaps Seto would start seeing him as an equal…a soul-mate, once more?

Not too long after those thoughts, he felt Seto placing his arms around him. He stiffened for a while and refused to look up at Seto, before the warmth…that familiar, amazing warmth he lived to feel, lulled him into unwinding slightly, so he could turn and bury his face in Seto's chest, letting himself cry openly, his sobs loud and uncontrollable.

He had no idea how long he stayed there like that, crying. He was aware at one point or the other that Yugi or Joey or Mai had knocked on the door once or twice and asked if everything was okay, and Seto sent them away for the moment. But otherwise, he just sat there, crying so hard and for so long, that Seto's jacket beneath his face had a huge wet spot on it, and he felt his head swimming and his sides and his chest aching with the sobs that didn't stop.

More than once, Seto tried speaking to him, but he was not ready to listen just yet. He kept crying and crying, until he suddenly realized that even though he was sobbing so hard, his chest heaving with the effort, no tears were leaving his eyes anymore.

He panicked, blinking furiously. Crying didn't make him feel better, but if he stopped crying then that would signal to Seto that he should confirm the theory Yami came to. He didn't want to stop crying. So why! Why couldn't he feel any wetness sliding down his cheeks anymore? Why was his face drying up and why was the wet spot on Seto's clothes drying up?

He wasn't ready to hear Seto say…

"Yami…please listen to me…"

He shook his head, "No…no, no, no…" his chest tightened with yet another sob, but he didn't shed a single tear.

"Yami, look at me!" Seto sternly said, tightening his hold around him slightly.

Yami forced himself to open his stinging, hurting eyes. He hesitantly tilted his head, so that he could meet the pained blue eyes before him. He blinked once, feeling like screaming in despair and sadness suddenly, when he found that Seto too had been crying. So it was true. Seto was here to tell him that he didn't need him anymore and that they're better off without one another.

"Don't…say it, Seto…please…" he sobbed out, before biting his lip so hard, it bled. Seto raised a hand to wipe away the trail of blood on his lip, but he caught it and held on to it, sobbing hysterically, "I'm so sorry…I…please don't leave, Seto… I'll…I'll get better…I promise. I'll get better…but please don't…please don't leave me. If I don't have you, then I don't have anything…"

The dry sobs and the heaving of his chest made him double over and he placed his forehead on the bed, trying to either cry or stop crying. If Seto wasn't there…then there was nothing…

"Yami, stop it! Please stop it…" Seto snapped, his tone stern once again.

This was it. Seto was going to leave now. He couldn't stop and so Seto will leave…

"You break my heart when I see you like this…"

"I'm sorry…" Yami whispered, not knowing if his voice reached Seto or not. Yes, he was sorry because he was such a baby and couldn't make this easier for Seto. He was sorry he screwed this beautiful thing between them up. He was sorry he was weak and he was sorry that this all happened because of him…this was entirely his fault.

"Yami, I came here today so I could tell you what I did yesterday…so that I can apologize and wait for your judgment about this…instead…instead, you're the one crying and apologizing and I have no idea why…"

What…?

He lifted himself up slightly on his hands, so he could stare up at Seto as he resumed speaking, "I am not here so I can tell you that I am leaving you…"

Then what was going on? He didn't understand…

"I'm here so… _you_ can tell _me_ to… go to hell…after what I did last night."

The words came out broken in several places. Seto was crying. Just like he had been a while ago. If not with more fervor. He had a hand bunched into a fist in front of his mouth as he spoke, eyes cast down and shedding torrents of tears.

Yami found the gaps between his sobs and heaves and hiccups, widening. He stared in shock at the brunet, who continued, "I am so horrible…you're such a perfect person and me…I went and slept with…with my assistant just because…just because I thought… just because I couldn't handle that perhaps I was doing a nasty job…showing you how much I loved you…"

"Seto…I…" Yami started but Seto shook his head, cutting him off.

"And then… it turns out that she…she made you feel so bad yesterday…she made you hurt yourself because…" he stopped, unable to carry on with how much his voice broke. He stayed silent for a while longer, before resuming, clenching his eyes shut, a disgusted expression on his face, "because of someone as worthless as I am… and now…you still think it's your fault… when it's entirely mine…"

Yami started chewing on his lip. He was scared and worried and sad and confused all at the same time. He kept looking at Seto, unable to think of anything to be done right now. So now what…? He was hurt, and angry yes, to know that Seto did something like that with Kisara…but the wounded feeling and annoyance that Seto had belonged to someone else other than him last night…those two feelings were incomparable to the fear that Seto had come to tell him that he didn't want him anymore.

"I am sorry Yami…I know it's such a worthless thing to hear from me…and that it won't change the fact that I…I cheated on you… but it was only right that I told you. I love you…and respect you a lot to do otherwise…" Seto said, finally looking up to stare him in the eye.

Yami stared back at him in silence for a few moments. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to tell Seto to 'go to hell'. First, that was bad language and he shouldn't use it against Seto. Second…he loved Seto so much. He didn't _want_ to do it. So, he decided he needed to do something else.

"Do you really still love me…?" he asked, after scooting closer to the brunet and holding onto his hand once more.

Seto closed his eyes for a second or two, before reopening them once again while he said, "I never stopped loving you Yami…and I won't."

Yami raised a hand and gently caressed Seto's cheeks with the back of it, wiping away the traces of tears on it, and murmured, "I don't…want you to go away…" Seto blinked, and Yami's hand once more wiped at the fresh tears that slid down his face. "If you need to…If you need Kisara to…sleep with, instead of with me…then I understand, you know…I really do…"

"No, Yami…I don't like her, I don't need to sleep with her and yesterday she was so bad in bed that it felt so wrong thinking of you while doing it…" Seto mumbled, staring down at the floor.

"Then you will not…do it again…?" Yami asked.

"No, Yami, I will not…"

"Then I don't want to leave you…" Yami said. Seto looked up at him in shock. "If you leave…then I have nothing left…" he repeated.

"Yami, I can't even…I can't even think of why you'd want to look at me right now…just…just hit me, yell at me…anything…"

"I will…" Yami interrupted him. Seto looked at him in silence, so he resumed, "One time or the other, I will…" he then paused for a while, before placing his head on Seto's shoulder and murmuring, "But I won't let you go…"

The apologies and the tears that followed passed by in a blur for Yami. He was aware that the intensity of the pain he felt Seto giving off, meant that he was still sincere to him with every fiber of his being. He knew that what Seto did would forever torment the brunet and make him doubt whether they should be together or not. But for now, he was going to make sure that they were going to be okay…

The sun was already setting by the time something disturbed them from just sitting together in one another's hold, crying and comforting the other every now and again. Seto's phone rang and he took it out to look at the caller ID. Yami happened to look as well and he felt a cold feeling spreading through him, along with anger, when he read the name written on the screen.

Before Seto could cancel the call, like he had planning with how his finger was approaching the red button on the phone, Yami grabbed the device and he pressed the green button, raising the phone to his ear.

He forced a cheerful tone to come forth and he answered with a loud voice, "Yami to the rescue!"

There was silence on the other end for a while…

"Yami… where is Seto?" Kisara's smooth, melodic voice, now cold and quite aggressive, flooded to him from the other end.

"Who is you!" he cheerfully asked her, feeling that, although he sensed that the way he was speaking was so wrong in structure and grammar, he needed to be so childish with her. He needed to be childish just this last time…with just this last person.

"Kisara…"

"Kisara! Yes, Yami remembers Kisara," he happily said. He then added with a slightly serious tone, "Kisara, Yami needs to tell you something." And he pressed the loudspeaker button after saying so.

"Oh yeah? What's that, retard?"

He smiled, "Yami told Seto, that Yami will not tell him that Kisara called Yami ugly and crazy. See? Yami kept the secret…"

There was complete silence on the other end, as though she was too shocked to say anything.

"And even though Seto slept with Kisara yesterday," he continued, feeling satisfied about what he was doing. "Yami doesn't care. Kisara is not important to Seto like Yami is… Seto loves Yami."

"You're wrong, Yami…" she said. "Seto doesn't love you."

"Seto told me to inform Kisara that she is fired," Yami added happily, in reply to that comment.

He listened with pleasure to the silence on the other end. Till now, he kept up his childishness. He kept up the façade he had pulled on, to show her that perhaps, a…'retard' defeated her.

However, his voice got lower and lost its happy tone and he said in a slow, venomous hiss, dripping coolness like the North Pole, "Seto is mine, Kisara. Our relationship runs much deeper than to be destroyed because he made a mistake and slept with…someone like you. Just because you offered him a body…it doesn't mean you made his feelings for me go away…"

Once again, there was nothing but utter silence on the other end, so he ended the call by adding, "Seto wanted me to tell you to pack your stuff and find yourself another job. He doesn't need your… _services_ anymore."

And he hung up, stretching slightly so he could place the phone, which he switched off, on the nightstand. He turned to Seto, and found him with a hand on his hand, as though to prevent himself from making a sound while crying. He scooted back closer to him and wrapped his arms around him. Once again he wiped at the torrent of tears slipping out of the bloodshot blue eyes, before taking hold of Seto's hand to pull it down, away from his face. He held it close to his own mouth and kissed it gently, before craning his head up, to press his lips against Seto's.

* * *

It seemed that with that kiss…everything took an entirely different turn for Seto and Yami. Saying different…meant that compared to the past one year, everything was completely dissimilar.

Yami's heart-wrenching condition got better… the childishness, the way he spoke in third person, the way he couldn't add up two simple numbers…all of that diminished dramatically. Before, Yami's older personality was the rarity. Now, the childishness and immaturity brought about by the trauma of the terrible incident that happened to him, was the rarity.

It took him nearly six months… six months before he started talking almost completely normally again. He had been so upset after Seto's confession to him in Yugi's room in the Game Shop. He stayed upset for a few weeks to follow. At first, Seto thought that he was still upset with him, and that was why he spoke normally and without any broken sentences. But when an entire month passed, with Yami speaking like he used to before that horrible day, he figured that something had changed. Perhaps the only way had been, as Mai once casually told him, to place Yami in a worse ordeal than the one that night.

His panic attacks became more manageable, even if now, their effects were much more horrible. Slowly, he started recalling snippets of what happened to him in that alley. Before, it used to come to him at times of distress, but now, he found himself facing the horrible truth but this time, instead of forgetting all about it after he snapped out of one of those attacks, he remembered every single detail.

But with Seto's help…he was getting better. He preferred it this way. He preferred not having to speak in third person. He preferred not struggling to do simple mathematical sums. He preferred being able to pick up the remains of the chances he still had left, by continuing his education. He preferred the terrible truthfulness of the memories and visions to the illusionary lies of happiness of the childishness he created around himself as a protection after shutting out the ordeal.

He never really went back to being…the King of Games type. He wasn't that Yami anymore. He couldn't walk up to a stranger to ask for directions. He preferred to shy away from human contact he wasn't familiar with. He hyperventilated when he walked by himself in the streets, even if he was the one to insist and rave and rage to be allowed to be independent.

Instead…now he was someone else. The past two or two and a half years changed him.

Seto still loved him.

That in and of itself made him try harder. Made him struggle to build himself up again. Seto still loved him… and he still loved Seto so much. They lived for each other. It was a difficult ordeal that changed both of them beyond reversing anymore. They both changed so much… so many things changed…

But they still loved each other. That…did not change.

the end…


End file.
